The Stone Wall of His Love
by SuzieQ57
Summary: Logan's in London now, and Rory's left to start her senior year with the gang. But when Rory gets hurt, Logan's all the way across the Atlantic and we find out who the Rhett Butler is in Rory's life. RATING UP: mature themes and very strong language.
1. I Will Resist Your Wicked Wiles

"Rory, love, come with us!"

"No, Finn," Rory sighed.

"But… but… but—"

"But you're exotic! But tomorrow's the first day of senior year! But we need to celebrate! But I don't have class until eleven; that's plenty of time to sleep off a hangover! But I'm twenty-one now; I don't have to worry about getting caught! But Colin needs to find a girl! But you want to get me drunk and into your bed!" Rory rattled off all the reasons and persuasions she knew he'd use.

"Exactly! I mean, wait—what, kitten?" Finn backtracked, confused.

Rory rolled her eyes. "I know you, Finn; I know that's what you'd say. Now, you know me, and you know that what I will say is _no_."

"Ah, but pet, I know you _so_ well that I know that my constant badgering, not to mention my manly charms, will eventually wear you down and you'll come—so why not just give in now?"

"Finn, I do not want to get drunk and hung over for the first day of classes. I do not want to miss the first day of senior year. I do not want a one-night stand to console me for the loss of my boyfriend's companionship to a stupid job in London. I want to stay at home and read a book and get to bed at a reasonable hour so that I can wake up on time and go get good coffee and be early for class, looking pretty and bright-eyed and ready to learn so I can charm my professors. If I party with you tonight I will _not_ be waking up on time and I will _not _be looking pretty and bright-eyed; thus there will be no charmage of professors and the whole year will be so much harder!" she berated him.

Finn laughed heartily. "Did you just say 'charmage'? I _am_ rubbing off on you, doll! Now, come with us and let me do it some more," he demanded with a wink.

"NO!" Rory shouted and walked away from the door. "I am going to my bookshelf and picking up a very serious book—I'm reading my anthology of Sylvia Plath's poetic works! I AM NOT GOING TO THE PUB WITH YOU TONIGHT!" she finished from her bedroom.

"Yes you are, love." Finn smirked. "See you later!" and he went back to his own dorm, shutting the door behind him.

——————————

_I cannot believe him_, Rory thought with a wry grin. _He's so much like Logan… Man, I miss Logan… I need to call him tonight._ She went on reading until about twenty minutes later, when her cell phone rang. She sighed and flipped it open. "Hello."

"You're reading something depressing, aren't you?" said a bright voice on the other end.

"No!" Rory said and hastily shut the book of poems.

"Shut up; you so are," laughed Stephanie Vanderbilt. "What I'm wondering, is _why_, when you could be going shopping with me?"

"I'm reading because I know your silly plots; you want to lure me with new clothes and shoes so I'll come to the pub with you!" Rory accused.

"_Me_! Never!" Steph said, as if deeply wounded. "You talk like I'm Finn or something!"

"Basically you are, Steph," laughed Rory.

"Crap, you're right. Oh well! And wouldn't you like to come shopping with me? I need new stuff! It's _senior year of college_, Rory! Plus, I have my dad's permission to buy whatever I… ahem… _need_ for school in terms of food and supplies and clothes. And surely, if my friends _need_ as well, he couldn't object to helping them out."

"No, Stephanie, I'm not going to do this. I need to prepare myself for a good day tomorrow!"

"I need a buddy and Rosemary's not getting here until tonight. Pleeeeease!"

"Steph, what are we going to do with you! You're insane. Besides, where can we go shopping around here, right now?"

"You're weakening; I can tell," Stephanie said with an evil laugh. "New Canaan's got a decent mall; that's definitely less than an hour if we speed. I've found Jimmy Choos there," she said tantalizingly.

"Evil temptress! Daughter of the devil! I will resist your wicked wiles!" Rory almost shouted.

"Really cute ones; all colors… heels, flats, boots…" her friend went on as if unaware.

"Boots!" shrieked Rory. She swore. "Okay, you've got me. I remembered that I really really wanted a pair of blue boots to go with a cute new skirt I got with my mom… But I'll pay for them."

"Awww, that ruins my fun. You have to let me buy at least _something_ for you."

"Something, _maybe_, but not expensive shoes. How soon do you want to leave?"

"ASAP. Ten minutes? That'll give us four hours if we want to be back by seven."

"We could always stay there longer, and you could avoid the whole sucky-hangover-for-first-day-of-classes thing," Rory said hopefully.

Stephanie laughed. "Nope, sorry Reporter Girl; I promised Colin I'd go tonight and help him stick it out with Finn. Finn's probably planning on getting completely trashed and inviting at least three girls home with him, so Colin will need some moral support. Plus _he_ needs to go because he needs to find someone. You know anyone he might like?" she asked, completely changing the subject.

"I hear Jessica Simpson's free; her IQ's low enough for him," Rory giggled. "But really, hmmmm… I don't know… well, yeah, there's this one blonde that he would probably be okay with, but I don't think she thinks he's her type."

"Unattached?"

"More or less," Rory said, the giggle blooming into full-out laughter.

"Who is she? Do I know her?"

"Oh, yeah, I'd say so."

"It's not that Paris chick, your roomie, is it?" Steph said, horrified.

Rory doubled over, laughing uproariously. "No, Stephanie Anne Vanderbilt…" she managed to gasp out. "Paris and Colin would _murder_ each other. Besides, she's dating Doyle. Former YDN editor, remember?"

"Oh yeah," said Stephanie, wrinkling her nose. "The tiny anal-retentive one, right?"

"That's the one," the brunette answered, finally managing to control her hysterics. "Anyway, my ten minutes are now down to seven. Your car or mine?"

"Mine's cooler. See you there." Stephanie hung up, puzzling over Rory's laughter and who the unknown blonde could be.

Rory quickly hung up her phone and changed from her shorts and t-shirt into comfortable but cute jeans and a cami with a short-sleeved shrug over it. She tamed her curls with a little styling serum and swiped on mascara and lip gloss, and then chose a pair of shoes. _I'd better bring the skirt so I'm sure the shoes match. And there was that one pair of cute flats that I bought without having anything to wear with them…I'd better bring those so I can get something that'll work._ She looked at her watch. _Two minutes. What else do I need? Just purse—keys, cell, money, skirt, shoes. All good._ Rory picked up her things and headed out to the parking lot to meet Stephanie.

——————————

"Hey, Finn. I got her to come with me to shop, so we'll both be at the pub around seven-thirty or eight."

"Thanks, doll," Finn said with glee.

"Wipe that grin off your face, moron. Hey, do we know any blondes that Colin might like, like for serious? Not just for a night, but a long-term kind of thing?"

"I don't know about you, but I certainly do," Finn smirked.

"_You_ know a relationship-type girl that I don't know?" Stephanie said incredulously.

"I _think_ you know her, but I don't think you think of her as Colin's type, or of Colin as her type." Finn began laughing.

"What is with all you people and refusing to be serious about this subject!" Stephanie asked, outraged, switching her cell from hand to hand as she changed her shirt.

"May I inquire, love, why you are so anxious to get Colin mate a girl?" He was still laughing.

"Because he needs someone to keep him under control with all this law school crap and what his dad's putting him through!"

"You're doing a fine job of that, though, Steph love," Finn smiled.

"Well, I won't be at Yale for the rest of the years and years and years that he has to be here." The blonde rolled her eyes.

"You'd like to be, though, wouldn't you, sweet?" Finn muttered.

"What!" Stephanie raised her eyebrows, forgetting that Finn couldn't see her, and headed out of her dorm room.

"How can you be so bloody clairvoyant with other people's romances and so painfully oblivious about your own!"

"I swear, Finn, if you don't repeat yourself—"

"I said, Steph kitten, you'd love to be around for the rest of the years Colin mate has to deal with law school crap and all the other years when his dad's going to be putting him through hell?" the Australian said loudly, almost laughing again.

"I cannot believe you said that." Stephanie hung up and stepped into the elevator to go meet Rory. No sooner had she pushed the ground-floor button than her phone rang. She sighed and answered. "What, you jerk?"

"Thank you for your words of kindness, love. I promise not to trip any more alarm wires. Just wondering, would you happen to know what kind of drink Rory likes?"

"Whoa, mister, there's an alarm wire right there."

"What?" Finn said, feigning innocence.

"Rory. Ordering a special drink to be ready for her when she gets to the pub. Just because Logan's in London doesn't mean she's fair game."

"Of course not!" the Aussie said calmly. "You forget, kitten, that I always order a drink for you on the night before the first day of school, too. Rory love is my friend as well."

"Finn, you've known me since freshman year of high school."

"And I've known Reporter Girl since her sophomore year of college, why?"

"You know what I mean, idiot. She's Logan's girl. Be careful."

"Fine, love, now what kind of drink does she like?" Finn said, annoyed.

"Get her a chocolate martini." Stephanie closed her phone again and went toward her car. "Hey Ror!" she called and waved to the brunette who was standing near Steph's green BMW.


	2. Australian Tact and Discretion

"Boots!" Rory shrieked for the second time in one day.

"Where, where, where, where, where!" Stephanie yelled.

"Over there! Look!" the brunette pointed excitedly.

"Let's go!" her friend said and began power-walking toward the wall with the boots.

A clerk caught up to them quickly. "Ladies, I'd be delighted to help you, but I'm going to have to ask you to lower your voices."

"Oh, yes, we're very sorry. I was just excited." Rory blushed. "We've been looking for Jimmy Choos all day, because we couldn't remember which store sold them, and then there's this huge department for shoes and we kept getting lost and distracted and we couldn't find any boots, and so when I saw them I was very eager, because I need—"

"Rory, hon, _shhh_," Stephanie said, placing a finger on her babbling friend's lips. "Sorry, sir, we just really want the boots." The girl smiled and twirled a strand of hair around her finger. "We're looking for something knee height, in blue, to match the darkest bits of the pattern in this skirt." She pulled the material out of Rory's roomy purse.

"Certainly, miss," the salesperson said smoothly. He went over to the wall and pointed out a section. "Over here are all the boots we have in colors other than black, brown, and white. If you see something you like, let me know and I'll see if we have it in your size."

He went back to his desk silently as the girls pawed over the expensive shoes.

——————————

"Colin!" yelled an Australian voice from the depths of the couch.

"What, you lazy bum!" Colin hollered, already annoyed.

"There's no need to be so snappish," said Finn, assuming an injured expression.

"Fine, I'll be PC. What, you… indolent displaced person?"

"Do you like Stephanie?"

"WHAT!"

"Colin mate, you've really got to work on this whole oblivion and confusion thing. A lawyer needs to be keen, sharp, alert, like a feline predator, or an avian raptor, or a—"

"At least I'm good old American oblivious, and not Australian, tactless oblivious," Colin cut in drily.

"There isn't a word for tact in Australian, mate; closest equivalent is 'sobriety' and even that's not heard often. Anyway, back to the question at hand!"

"Finn, of _course _I like Stephanie. Why else would I spend as much time with her as I do?" Colin said, walking into the den and rolling his eyes.

"Well, sometimes if you're stalking someone you hate—"

Colin held up his hand. "You probably shouldn't even finish that sentence. And you need to learn the meaning of the word _discretion_. I suppose that doesn't compute to an Aussie either; sure doesn't seem to with Mel or Russell."

"Right, mate. Carry on."

"With what?"

"Holy—I'm really going to have to start telling people you're not as smart as they think you are. _Stephanie_, mate."

"What more is there to say? Steph's my friend; I like her; I've known her forever; I spend time with her. Enough said."

"You're as bad as Reporter Girl was when Logan started liking her and she liked him back," Finn said exasperatedly.

"Look, why do you care?" Colin almost shouted.

"Is it so wrong to want my friends to wake up and realize that perfect happiness is sitting right in front of them on a silver platter?" Finn said innocently. "Plus it would take care of the whole you-being-a-jerk-when-you-aren't-getting-any thing." _Plus it would make four people happy out of the group, even if I can't be, _he thought slightly bitterly as Colin began ranting in self-defense.

"And don't mix metaphors," the shorter brunette finished. "Were you listening to me at all? What'd I say?"

"Got it; no muddling similes," Finn said beguilingly.

"Idiot," Colin sighed and went back to his room.

——————————

"I am _exhausted_," Stephanie breathed as they got back into her car.

"I am _full,_" Rory muttered.

"Hey, you're the one who wanted to top off the meal at Cold Stone."

"Yeah, but you didn't stop me!" Rory said illogically.

"Right. Anyway, let's just be glad there _is_ one there now."

"Took them long enough."

The two girls sat for a moment. "So, about that whole driving thing… I think I remember they taught us that you put the key in somewhere to start the car… now where is that little doohickey?" Rory said teasingly.

"Shut up," Steph rolled her eyes and started the car. "Don't let me fall asleep. Put on some music."

Rory flipped through the CD book and found the Clash. "If you're exhausted, then you should stay home from the pub tonight! Hang out with me!"

"Ror, I already told you," the blonde laughed. "Someone needs to go to prevent murder. However, _you_ really should come hang out with _me_. Actually, no should about it—you're coming. You can wear your hot boots and that gorgeous skirt."

"I'm sure Logan would appreciate me looking 'hot' for every other guy at Yale," Rory snorted.

"Hey, you're not going to do anything, and they'd be looking at you even if he was there. Loosen up! You'll look great and we'll have so much fun. You've got to do _something _to celebrate the beginning of your last year of school."

"Seriously, Steph."

"Oh, hey, plus Rosemary'll be here by the time we go, so she'll be with us, and since I'll be busy keeping Colin off of Finn, you'd better be there to keep Finn off Rose!"

Rory laughed heartily. "I love the juxtaposition there."

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, Colin would kill me if he had heard that sentence," Stephanie said, grinning. "But it's true. Someone else needs to be there who can exercise a little control over that crazy group. Especially since I can drink more that way."

"Which provides a convenient excuse when we find you and Colin groping each other in the coat room at 12:30," Rory giggled.

"Whatever. You're coming," the girl looked over at Rory with raised eyebrows. "Final answer."

"Do I look like Meredith Vieira to you?" Rory grimaced.

——————————

The night at the pub was absolute insanity. It seemed that the entire campus was there, either celebrating the beginnings of their first or last years, or beginning to numb their brains against the drudgery in between.

"Rory, my sweet, forget Logan and elope to Russia with me!" Finn shouted from across the wide room. "Hello, loves, I've got your drinks," he said, perfectly normally, when he reached them, and greeted them with kisses on the cheek. Then he whistled. "Love the boots, kitten. Jimmy Choos?"

"If I hadn't seen you with your tongue down dozens of girls' throats I'd swear you were gay," Stephanie chuckled.

"First of all, yes they are; secondly, why Russia? And thirdly, since when do you order a drink for me ahead of time?" Rory inquired.

"First of all, doll, the boots are dead sexy; secondly, obviously we'd have to be lost in Siberia to escape Logan castrating me; thirdly, since I've known you two years, pet," Finn mimicked. "Here it is," he said, presenting her with a drink from the table to which he'd led the girls.

"Oh, well as long as you're so logical about it… Ooooohh, as long as it's chocolate!" Rory's eyes lit up as she accepted the martini glass.

"Thanks, sweet," he muttered out of the side of his mouth as he gave her a daiquiri.

"Hmmm, it's funny how you remember Rory's chocolate martini the first time and after, what, nine years of being friends with me (five or six of drinking with me) you can't remember that I _always_ want a rum and Coke to start the night," Stephanie mused.

"I'm _so _sorry, my dearest! I'll buy you a dozen rum and Cokes if it will only restore your heart to my hand!"

"Gross," Rory laughed, having heard just the last part. "Where's Rose?"

"Oh, around here somewhere; I think she and Colin went to get more drinks," Finn waved his hand dismissively.

"So that's all you care about me? A flippant gesture?" a voice cooed from behind him as two slender, pale arms wrapped around his waist.

"Rosemary, darling, I was just making sure they weren't _jealous_," he said conspiratorially, turning around and trying to kiss her.

She offered him her hand instead and he contented himself with kissing the back of it. "How tactful of you," she muttered sarcastically.

Colin came up to the table and they all sat down, beginning to talk, laugh, and drink away the last night of summer.

——————————

"Really, Colin, I'm fine, but thanks," Rory insisted. She was less drunk than the rest of them, as she had eaten and had water at intervals through the night.

"Rory pet, we'd rather you didn't. There are many, many drunk and horny college men out there—"

"Just like you two," Rosemary slurred.

"Just like us two, thank you Rose sweet, who will be looking for any being lacking a Y chromosome to jump tonight. And while we know you and that you're beautiful and glorious and unattainable because of your attachment to Huntzberger, those many many men out there do not and they will do anything to lure you in between their high-thread count sheets!" Finn said with a flourish, banging his shot glass on the table. "Now, while we may not be in the best of condition to fight off angry, amorous, alliterative—"

"No, Finn, _you're _being alliterative, not the other guys," Stephanie mumbled.

"Right, Steph, thank you; angry, amorous, alcohol-drenched college men, at least we are better than your poor little non-exercising self, though we certainly appreciate your ability to keep so slender without outside metabolic aid, and you _really_ should let one of us walk home with you."

"That was discreet of you; just tell her she's going to get attacked!" the girls murmured.

"Finn, Colin, I assure you, I will be fine. I will be _fine_," she said, loudly and adamantly.

"You _look_ fine," a raucous voice called at her from the corner of the room.

"See there!" Colin said, incensed. "Intoxicated lascivious men are already wanting to snatch you and you're not even out of the pub!"

"I love that you say 'intoxicated lascivious' when Finn says 'drunk and horny'," Rory laughed. "I'm leaving now. Bye, you four! See you tomorrow… or, maybe eight of you…" she emended.

"Not a good idea, love, bad plan!" Finn said, shaking his head.

"I don't need your chivalry right now, Finn. I'm absolutely fine. I am a Yale woman, of the twenty-first century, walking around the nice pleasant Yale campus in cozy New Haven, and I will be fine."

"Fine, fine, fine, how many times can we say the word fine in one night?" Stephanie asked, annoyed. "She'll be all right alone; let her go."

"_Thank_ you, Stephanie! Now, seriously, I'll see you tomorrow," Rory called and headed out.


	3. A Knight in Armani Jeans

She walked toward her dorm, sleepy and a bit unsteady on her feet. _A nice long sleep, get up at nine thirty—ugh!—go get coffee… mmmhmmm…a rest and a good big cup of black coffee and some aspirin tomorrow and I'll be all set. Modern Southeast Asian Cultures should be really interesting…_She was getting close-ish to the apartment when she felt a hand on her upper arm.

"How'd you like to come back to my dorm with me? Get a head start on Anatomy?" said a rough voice, trying to be alluring.

Rory forced a laugh. "Please. A, that is probably the _worst_ pickup line ever, except 'did it hurt when you fell out of the sky, because you look like an angel to me'; B, I'm a journalism major; C, and most importantly, I'm taken."

"Doesn't look like you are for tonight," said another man's voice and a heavy arm snaked around her waist.

"Excuse me, I didn't ask for your company. I'm fine, thanks," she said, getting nervous, and tried to push his arm off.

"Oh, don't ruin our fun. Come on, we're good guys," a third voice said, his breath hot on her ear and smelling heavily of hard liquor.

"You're the one who's dressed up all nice, just walking around late at night. How are we supposed to resist? You're the one asking for it," sneered a fourth, grabbing her wrist.

"Let go of me! You have no right to do this!" Rory shoved him away.

"Let's go, babe; we'll have a great time!" the first voice said. A hand went over her mouth; another took her purse just as she was trying to reach for her cell; the third and fourth took her by the arms and dragged her along.

——————————

They hauled her to an unknown room in a dorm which Rory couldn't identify in the night, and raped her. It seemed to go on forever. Rough hands, harsh words, scathing lips… She'd never felt so broken, used, invaded, violated… filthy. Worthless. When she tried to fight them off, they would hit her, and then just hold her back and make vulgar comments.

After that interminable time, when Rory was curled into the fetal position, shaking, and crying, they grabbed her by the limbs and carried her out the door of the large building. The four young men called in hushed, but biting tones, "Thanks, but you could have been more appreciative" and laughed raucously, then threw her clothes and purse in a pile on top of her. The adorable boots hit her in the head.

——————————

Finn swore, loudly, vigorously, and creatively. _Who the bloody… who on Earth is calling me at…_ he looked at the clock… _quarter to four in the bleeding morning? First there are no redheads at the pub and I can only get Rosemary to kiss my cheek, now **this**! _He went on cursing and muttering as he pulled himself out of his bed to find his phone.

"What on God's green Earth do you _want_?" he practically barked.

"Please don't yell at me, Finn, please don't… please don't…"

Immediately he sobered. "KittenRorypet, love sweet, what's going on, doll?" he said, completely confused.

Her voice was breaking with crying. "Finn, Finn, I need you… I need you to come and get me… I need…"

"Pet, where are you?" the Australian said frantically, pulling his jeans on over his boxers.

"Just… don't yell, please, Finn, please don't…"

"Love Rory, I need to know where you are," he implored, beginning to panic.

"I'm… sitting against a tree, I think. I was… in a dorm." Rory couldn't speak for the sobs that racked her.

"Kitten I need more than that. Where are you!"

"Stop yelling, please!" she wept.

Finn tried to calm down. "Rory doll you need to get yourself together enough to tell me where you are."

"It's… it's a big tree by a… dorm that's…"

"Yes, love, where's the dorm?" he coaxed her.

"I guess it's… two-thirds of the way…" she tried to stop crying sufficiently to control her voice. "To Logan's from the pub…"

"All right, Rory kitten, I'm coming," he assured her. "I'll find you soon."

"Please don't hang up Finn!" Rory's voice was terrified. "Don't, Finn, don't go away, don't hang up, please Finn don't hang up!"

"I won't, pet, I won't, I promise. I'm coming." He ran out of his room and the entire apartment and, disdaining the elevator, took the several flights of stairs three at a time. "I'm still here, Rory, I'm not leaving," he constantly reassured her.

"Finn, please get here soon, please come," she begged, curled against a large tree outside the boys' dormitory building. She had managed to get her top and her panties on, but her dazed mind and paralyzed body couldn't work together and cope with her terror long enough to put her skirt, bra, knee-highs, or boots on. Rory sat there, crying and trembling, pleading with Finn to stay on the line and come and find her.

——————————

"Love, I think I'm close but I need to know a bit more about where you are."

"I… came out the main entrance of the building… it had a lot of floors… there are benches, and trash cans… no lights though… there aren't any lights!" she quavered.

"Hold on, Rory, I know; I'm coming. A big tree, you said? Are you close to anything else?"

She strained her eyes to see any landmarks in the dark. "Oh, oh, I see a statue… it looks like…" she tried to restrain her sobs. "The Science Department one… the founder… guy."

Finn sighed in relief. "I see it, sweet, where are you in relation to it?"

"It's… to my right; I'm facing away from… the dorm."

"Anything else?"

"There's a, a short bench… to my left…"

Suddenly he could make out her small frame, half dressed and shaking, against the tree several yards away from him. He closed his phone and sprinted over to her. "Rory, love, Rory, Rory sweet, what happened?" he asked frantically, kneeling beside her and seeing by the nearly-full moon her half-nakedness.

Rory's crying began again, unmitigated, her hysteria breaking her control. "Take me… home, Finn… take… to your dorm… please, let's go… please leave… please take me home…"

He tried to lift her onto her feet but she wouldn't stand. "I can't… walk, Finn… it hurts…"

"Okay, shhh, I'll bring you, kitten, sshhhh…" He stuffed her bra and skirt into the boots and set them on top of her, and hung her purse around his neck. Then he tried to gently slide his arm underneath her bent knees, frightened when she cried out in pain. "Sorry, love, I'm trying to be nice." Finn carried her, like a broken bride, back to his own apartment, her feet dangling, her arms around his neck like a frightened child, and her face buried in his chest.

They took the elevator up to his room. The door had fallen shut but it was still unlocked; Finn pushed it open awkwardly and walked heavily into the rooms. Colin's door opened and his face appeared in the doorway. "What the… what's going on!" he asked sharply when he saw a shirtless Finn carrying a shivering, half-dressed Rory.

" i _This /i _ would be a time for your precious tact, mate," Finn hissed and Colin retreated. Finn carried Rory into his part of the apartment and set her down on his bed, gingerly detaching her arms. "Love, I'm putting on a hot bath. You can take your clothes off or leave them on, but you need to relax somehow. Here are sweats and a t-shirt and a big fluffy towel for when you're done. Your purse I'll put by the tub if you need anything from there." He went and turned on the hot water and placed the clothes and things on the lid of the toilet near it. When the tub was mostly full, he went and picked Rory up again. "Clothes, doll?"

"Off, please," she said weakly.

He made none of his typical comments about seeing her naked, just slipped off the shirt and panties and set her in the hot water. "I'll be right out here. Dry off and put on the warm clothes and come out when you feel like you can go to sleep, sweet."

"Thanks, Finn," Rory breathed.

——————————

Finn softly closed the bathroom door behind him and went and sat on the bed. He writhed internally. _It must have been guys. It had to have been. Why didn't we insist on going with her! Morons! We are morons._ He continued muttering oaths to himself.

When Rory felt she could at least move, she reached for her purse and took out her phone. She dialed the number desperately. "Please answer, please answer, Logan, please…" But it continued ringing. After an eternity, it went to voicemail. "Logan, I really need to talk to you. Seriously. I really… I really want you to come here, now. I want you to come home. Just call me. Please. I love you." She closed her phone, then opened it and dialed again. "Mom I'm sure you're staying at Luke's tonight but please I need you to call me as soon as you get this message… I need to talk to you and see you because something really bad happened… please call me…" she managed to finish before tears made their way down her cheeks again. Hoping against hope, she tried Lorelai's cell phone, but it was difficult to wake the woman from her beauty sleep. Rory sank into the hot water, mentally blessing Finn and trying to relax.

——————————

It seemed like forever before she came out. Finn looked up at her anxiously.

"Finn, I… I was…" she tried to speak.

"Shhh, love, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to yet."

"I was raped. Four guys raped me repeatedly, they forced me again and again and they hit me and they talked to me like I was filth, I was raped over and over…" she was babbling uncontrollably.

In his mind, Finn was calling them every name he could think of and vowing to murder them. "Kitten, shhh, calm down sweet—"

"I was raped and Logan—he wasn't here, he didn't protect me, he didn't even answer the phone," she broke down again.

"Come here, Rory," Finn beckoned and she stumbled over to the bed. He brushed her tears away with his fingers. "You need to sleep, love; cry yourself out if that's what has to happen." She lay down next to him and sobbed into a pillow he'd rested against his shoulder. Gently he stroked her hair and talked soothingly. "Pet, it was a horrible thing but it was _not your fault_, doll, and it was not Logan's fault; we shouldn't have let you out by yourself tonight but it wasn't our fault either—it was four idiot guys and you couldn't control that. I'm so, so sorry, Rory, so sorry but I'm here now and Colin's in the next room and Logan cares about you so much and it's never going to happen again." He kissed her bruised and cut cheeks as she turned away from the pillow. "Now go to sleep, kitten. I'm here."

"You're so _comfortable_, Finn," she sighed, her breathing slowly evening out.

"Why thank you, Scarlett, love," he chuckled just slightly.

"I can't believe you know _Gone with the Wind _well enough to recognize that quote," Rory murmured. She nestled into the pillow and her eyes drooped; the hot bath and Finn's reassuring words had helped her relax enough to be sleepy. Just before she dropped off, she thought of something. "Finn, I love your—" she paused.

"My hot body? I knew you'd come around," he teased gently, drowsy.

"I love your chivalry, Finn."

He smiled a bit and took her hand. He kissed it lightly and then laid it against his cheek. "Go to sleep, sweet," but she already was.


	4. Everybody's Crying an Apology

**AN:** I've never written fanfic before, so I keep forgetting things—like ANs to explain the pairings and such. Anyway, it's a PDLD, not a Rogan; sorry if it confused you, or if you like Logan better. I like him too, but for the purpose of this story he can't quite toe the line. Paris lives with Rory in Logan's apartment because Doyle had to move for a job (in my world, he has already graduated… I don't know if that's right or not, but oh well. Colin (first-year Yale Law student) lives with Finn; Finn and Rose and Steph are in their senior year because being a bit lazy as they are they've taken longer to finish. That should be all. Thanks so much for reading, and double thanks to all those who reviewed.

**Disclaimer: **They're not actually mine. If they were, I would be much less free with the pain I cause them.

Finn awoke to bright light shining in the window and small hands beating his stomach and trying to push at his shoulder.

"Get off me! Stop! Stop! Get off! You can't do this! Stop!" Rory was sobbing.

"Shhhh, Rory, calm down, love, wake up," he begged, wrapping his arms around her. "Wake up, Rory, sweet, get up." He took her hands and held them still and bent to kiss the top of her head. "Calm down, Rory, wake up, shhhh."

When he had stilled her hands she went on crying, but after a few moments he managed to wake her up. "Finn?" she said, confused and bleary-eyed.

"Yes, love; you were beating me."

She pulled a pillow over her face and began weeping stormily again. "Finn, so sorry, I… I can't… I can't…"

"Pet, shhhhh, calm down. You're okay. I'm here. You're okay."

"No I'm not, no I'm not, no I'm not! I was raped. I was raped. I was raped…"

"Shhhh, shhhhh, it's okay love, it'll never happen again. I'm so, so sorry we let it happen, but doll, you'll be all right; you'll be okay," he tried to reassure her.

Suddenly she scrambled off the bed. "I need to go, Finn, I need to go. I'm sorry. Th… thanks. Thanks, Finn." She picked up her clothes and purse.

"I'll walk you back, kitten," he said hurriedly and put on cargo shorts and a t-shirt.

"Finn…" she sighed. He looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Fine, okay," she said, trying to stop crying.

They went out, Finn's arm around Rory's shoulders. He gently guided her back to her own apartment, up the elevator, and into her room. "Love, are you sure you want to stay here?" he asked cautiously.

"I'll keep the door locked; Paris will be here. Please just go. Thanks very much."

"Okay," he said hesitantly. "Call if you need anything, pet."

"I will. Bye Finn."

He shut her door behind him, and then stood near it, thinking. _I shouldn't let her stay there alone. But if I insist, she'll freak out and hate me. But I'd rather she be safe. She **will**_ _be safe; Paris is there. I can't push help on her. She has to get through it on her own. But what if she gets scared and she can't call? No, she'll be okay. I can't force her._ "Aaagh!" he muttered, frustrated, as he walked away. "If she just wasn't so… I don't even know…"

——————————

Rory went into her room and tried calling Logan again. This time he answered. As soon as he said "Hello, Logan Huntzberger speaking," she broke into tears again.

"What's… what's wrong with me, I can't… can't even talk… without… without crying…"

"Ace? Ace? Rory, what is it, babe?" he said, frightened.

"Logan, I… didn't you get… didn't you get my message?" she asked, hurt.

"No, my phone didn't list any missed calls! Ace, _what's wrong_? Rory, babe, talk to me!"

"Logan, I was… last night… we went to the pub…"

"Yes, okay, you were at the pub, and what happened?"

"Please don't… don't yell, Logan, please… please let me talk…"

"Okay, Ace, keep talking."

"We went to the pub… and I wouldn't, I wouldn't let Finn, or Colin walk… walk back with me so I went alone… I went alone and these four guys…"

Logan swore. "Sorry Ror, keep going."

"These four guys, they grabbed me, and they… and, and… they…" she couldn't talk any more.

"Ace, Rory, I'm so so sorry babe, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry," he murmured.

"And you, you didn't… you didn't answer your phone when I tried to call you!" she accused. "You weren't even here… you weren't here and I had to walk alone and I had to call Finn to come get me!" Rory was so drained that she hardly knew how she could have the energy to cry any more.

"Rory, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, if I'd heard the phone I'd have answered. If I could possibly have been with you I would have! You know that. I'm sorry, babe, I'm sorry."

"Could you…" Rory tried to speak. "Could you come home now?" she managed to whisper.

Logan sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Ace… Ace, I can't. If I tried my father would be on me in a second. I'm so sorry, Ace, I'm sorry. I can't do it, Rory; I'll never do anything in my life if I leave now. Ace, I'll call you; I'll talk to you all the time. Anytime I'm free I'll talk to you."

Rory wept silently. "Okay. Okay, Logan. Call me a lot. I just, I just wish you… could be here. I want you here. I'm sorry."

"I know, Ace; _I'm_ sorry. But I have to go now. I'm sorry; my dad will kill me if I'm late. I'm so sorry, Rory, I'm so sorry. Tell Colin and Finn and Steph, even Rose, to get you everything you want. Tell them to visit you and hang out and call me if you need to talk to me. I love you, babe," he finished.

"Love you," Rory murmured and closed her phone.

——————————

Colin came out of his bedroom as soon as Finn came in. "What _happened_?" he exploded. "You come in carrying Reporter Girl, she looks like she's been through a meat grinder, and you're both half-naked and then you leave together in the morning and say nothing? What were you thinking? Where is she now?"

Finn sighed. "Relax, mate. She's in her apartment. Some guys…" he paused and took a short breath. "Some 'drunk and horny college men' got her last night. Like, _got_ her."

Colin's eyes widened and he swore. "Who were they? We have to kill them."

"Sorry, mate, it was the wee hours of the morning and she couldn't exactly identify them. Their dorm is one of the huge ones; we'd never find 'em. But I'd like to murder them, the bloody…" he went on cursing at the top of his lungs as his face crumpled and he went into his bedroom and lay down on the bed.

_Get yourself together, mate; be a man. _"Men don't cry," he admonished himself, trying to be stern. _Except when girls they love are hurt… Love like Carolyn, not likeMelanie. Love like Stephanie. Oh, Rory… I was such a **moron!**_ _Why did we let her go? Why didn't I insist? From now on, **always**. No girl I know is walking home by herself, ever again. Never. Never again. Rory, love, poor girl…_

He fell into a kind of drowse, half-dreaming and half-awake. Suddenly he heard Colin bellowing from outside the door. "Your schedule says your next class starts in twelve minutes on the other side of campus!"

Finn muttered an oath. "No need to puncture my eardrums, mate. You're right outside the door," he snapped.

"Just trying to make sure this _is_ actually your senior year," Colin grumbled.

The Aussie stood up and stretched. He went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his tired face. "Come on, mate, let's go. Go learn how to be a businessman."

——————————

It was almost 11:00. Rory should have been on her way to Modern Southeast Asian Cultures, but instead she was curled up in a ball on her bed, staring at the wall.

"Gilmore, we have class in nineteen minutes! Come on!" Paris yelled. She hadn't been awake when Finn had brought Rory home, and didn't question the fact that Rory hadn't come out of her bedroom yet. She figured it had just been a late and alcohol-drenched night. "Come on, Rory, get out of there! We'll practically miss being early if we don't leave _now_!"

"Shut up, Paris, and go away. I'm not coming to class. Bring me back your notes and the homework."

"_What_! Class starts soon, Rory. This is not a time for jokes."

"I'm not joking, Gellar. Bring me back whatever I need."

"Seriously, Gilmore, you're not funny. Get out here."

"SHUT UP AND GO AWAY!" Rory hollered. "I'm _not_ joking, for the _last_ time. Leave me alone." She would have started crying again if there had been a tear left in her body; instead, her breath was short and she felt like kicking the bed and punching her pillow.

Paris's eyes widened. "Fine, if that's the way you want to talk to someone who's been your friend for seven years!" she shouted and stormed out.

_My friend for seven years… yeah, right. Two, maybe, if you added up all the isolated good days_, Rory thought and rolled her eyes. She turned over on her other side and fell asleep, dreaming fragments of nightmares, until she was awakened by the slamming of the door of the apartment. She groaned.

"Gilmore, I have a crapload of notes and a homework assignment for you!" Paris called.

"Paris, c'mere," Rory said loudly. "I need to talk to you."

"What?" the blonde said, throwing open Rory's door. Her forehead furrowed at the sight of Rory, still in Finn's clothes, lying on her bed in the early afternoon of a class day. "Are you sick or something?" She came closer to look at her friend. "You're pale. What is that on your cheek? Why are there finger-marks on your wrists?" Her voice was rising. "Rory, what happened?"

Rory swallowed. "I need to tell you this, Paris. Last night, I walked home from the pub alone, and… these four guys dragged me to their dorm, and they… well…" she stopped, unsure of how to word the delicate news.

Paris looked at her penetratingly for a split second. Then she gasped. "Did they rape you? Were you _raped_! You were raped! You were _raped_!" she repeated when Rory bit her lip and buried her face in a pillow. Paris paced around the room, muttering to herself—guessing who it was, swearing to kill them, cursing, and calling down on them every painful malady she knew. Then she did the unthinkable—she started to cry.

"Rory, I'm sorry. I'm sorry they did that to you and I'm sorry I was such a… well, you know, so… mean, earlier. I'm sorry," she mumbled and sat down on the bed next to Rory, rubbing her back. "Ummm, Rory?" she said quietly after a minute. "Don't you think you should call your mom?"

Rory swore. "Yeah. Yeah, I should. I definitely should. I need to see her… I really need to see her…" She scrambled to reach her phone.

"I'll get it." Paris got up and took the cell from Rory's purse. She quickly dialed the number and hit 'send'. "Here."

"Thanks," Rory mumbled. "Mom? Mom!" she said agitatedly when Lorelai answered.

"Beloved only daughter, what's up?"

"Mom, can you come here? I want to see you… no, I need to see you. Please, please come."

"Ror, calm down; I need to know what's wrong. Why do you need me so badly, babe? Are you hurt?" Lorelai asked anxiously.

"I… I don't think I can tell you on the phone. Please, I just need to see you, please, Mom," Rory begged.

"Okay, hon, I'll be there. Just give me time to let Sookie and Michel know. Hang on, okay? I'm coming. Love you, Rory!" Lorelai reassured her and hung up.

"Good, so she'll be here; I'll make some coffee," Paris said, standing up again. She hated not having anything to do.

The two girls sat for a long time in awkward silence, each trying to discuss things about the class that morning, but unable to keep the thread of conversation intact.

——————————

After awhile there was a pounding on the door. "Let me in, let me in, my daughter's in there; please let me see my baby; where's my daughter!" Lorelai all but screamed. She had worked herself into a near panic on the drive from Stars Hollow to New Haven, trying to keep calm but going over the frightening possibilities automatically.

"All right, Momma Grape, I'm coming!" Paris grumbled and opened the door.

Lorelai glared at her. "Did you just compare me with one of the fattest movie characters ever?" she asked menacingly, momentarily losing her focus.

"Well, you were acting like her when she was yelling at the Sheriff to get the kid out of jail," Paris defended herself. "Plus she got to hug Johnny Depp."

"Okay, fine, your death sentence will be suspended. Unless you don't show me where my daughter is!" Lorelai said, her mood changing once again.

"She's in her room." Paris went into her own bedroom.

"Sweets, what's wrong?" Lorelai asked as soon as she entered Rory's room and went over to the bed.

"Mom, I… something bad happened. You can't… you can't cry, or I will again, and I really can't do that anymore today."

"Rory, you need to tell me what it is now. I cannot promise you I won't cry when I'm freaking out," Lorelai entreated, stroking Rory's hair and hugging her closer.

Rory breathed slowly. "I went out to the pub last night, and, well, I walked home by myself and these guys came and…" she looked at her mother with brimming eyes. "They raped me. Again and again, four of them, it was forever. And," tears were coursing down her face again "I tried to call Logan after and he didn't answer, and then I tried home and your cell and you didn't answer…"

"Rory, baby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't answer. And I'm sorry you had to be alone; I'm so sorry. Just try to relax and go to sleep and after awhile we'll have ice cream and watch a movie, and we can talk about it if you want or we can not, and you can call Logan and talk to him. I'm here, hon. Shhhhh," Lorelai comforted, rubbing her daughter's shoulders.


	5. The Closure Hurts Too Much

**AN: **I know they should have gone to the hospital, but people don't always do the smartest thing. (By the way, thanks to "RR" who pointed out that a lot of women wouldn't because they would already be humiliated and hurt and scared and wouldn't want to go through a lot more of that—that's what I think.)

I'm _not_ angry at you reviewers at all for pointing that out (it's good to know that you notice that.) The characters will just do what they will do; this is one of those ideas that get into my head and refuse to be messed with; the story just wouldn't be _right_ to me if I changed how the characters reacted. Luckily, Lorelai has decided to do the deed; things will get worked out and you will understand—I promise.

But this _is_ a PDLD, and it's not going to change. It's going to be hard to take for awhile; rough stuff is happening. And though I don't want to tell you not to read it—not at all—this is not the story for you if you're looking for fluff or for a perfect-boyfriend Logan.

One more thing: my portrayals of stuff about STD testing and emergency contraception may not be perfectly accurate, but I've tried to be basically realistic—and there's really no need to nitpick about these things.  Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

**Disclaimer: **I really am ASP, and guess what! I saw Elvis at Perkins the day before yesterday!

_I'll let her sleep for a little while, but then we'll have to go in. She's not going to want to, though, I know it. Should I make her? I mean, I can't really make her; she's an adult… no, who am I kidding?; she's Rory; I could make her do anything… I don't want to hurt her. But I do want to hurt the guys who did this to her. How could anyone be so horrible? How are we ever going to figure out who they are? I just don't want her to get any more hurt…_ Lorelai was deep in thought when she realized Rory was stretching and rubbing her eyes.

"Hon, you should sleep longer," Lorelai said gently.

Rory blinked a few times. "I can't, Mom. I can't. I'm uncomfortable and achy and I just can't relax, and… I'm so… Even when I'm asleep, I'm… I had nightmares last night, and when I napped this morning. I hate them. If I sleep deeply and for too long, I'm so scared I'll have more and it'll be like going through it again for the fourth time in eighteen hours," she confessed.

Lorelai sighed deeply. "I wish… I wish you would sleep longer…" She laid her hand on Rory's head. "Rory, babe, we're going to have to…" she turned her face for a moment, blinking back tears. "We have to go to the hospital."

"Mom, no!" Rory exclaimed and sat up, wincing at her soreness. "Mom, I don't want to go in."

"Rory…" Lorelai said sternly.

"Mom!" Rory bit her lip and swallowed the lump of tears in her throat. "Mom, I can't. We can't do that. There are hundreds of people in that dorm; it was dark and they were drunk and I was so terrified that no details of their floor or who they were or anything registered in my brain. I couldn't possibly identify them."

"Not _you_, Rory. Not you."

The lump came up again and this time it wouldn't be swallowed; the tears overflowed. "No, Mom. You think I want to be known as the girl who caused every guy at Yale to get tested for DNA? And there would be plenty of people who would claim that I made the story up, that I'm just a whore who offered to sleep with four guys because my boyfriend's in London and I haven't had sex in weeks! You think I want to be known as that girl, too?"

"No, I don't think that you want to be known as that girl! But much less do I think you want to be known as the girl who slept with four guys because her boyfriend was in London and she hadn't had sex in weeks, and subsequently got every STD under the sun!" Lorelai said forcefully, crying now. "And…" she swore. "And I know you went off the Pill when Logan left, perfectly logically because you weren't going to be doing anything that would get you pregnant… but I think EC is in order right now."

Rory's eyes widened. She echoed her mother's oaths. "You're right," she whispered. "You're right."

——————————

Finn lay on the couch when he got home from class and stared at the ceiling. His mind was full of questions. _How is she? Did she get her mom? Did she get a hold of Logan? What did he say? Will he come for her? Poor pet…_

"So how's Gilmore?" Colin broke into his thoughts.

"How should I know? I haven't seen her since I brought her home," Finn muttered.

"You haven't seen her? What's wrong with you! She could be seriously injured or ill, Finn! We have to talk to her!" Colin exclaimed. "I'm going to go over there." He went to get his shoes.

Suddenly Finn's phone rang. "'Day," he answered tiredly.

"Finn!"

"Logan!" Finn's eyes widened. "Colin, wait a minute!" he shouted in the direction of Colin's room.

Logan cursed at him. "Why didn't you walk her home? Why the crap didn't you walk her home?"

"Look, mate!" Finn said, his defenses rising. "I told her many times that I didn't want her to go alone! Colin and I both predicted that this would happen to her, but she was being all suffragette and you know how bloody stubborn she is! If I'd have gone with her she'd probably have slipped away and ditched me out of pure spite and it would've happened anyway! And at least I answered when she called after the fact," he flung at his friend sharply.

The blonde cringed, hearing the anger in Finn's voice. "It was just before five in the morning, Finn. I was asleep."

"Well, so was I, mate! But I keep my bleeding phone on at night, because sometimes there _are_ emergency situations where someone needs you!"

"You're right! I was stupid and I made a mistake!" Logan shouted into the phone. "But that doesn't mean you get to hate me." He sighed. "Look, I just need you to promise to take care of her. Check up on her, buy her all the movies and junk food and coffee and crap that she wants."

"You're not coming home?" Finn asked accusatorily.

"No, Finn, I can't. Not right now. My dad will basically disown me if I leave right now, when I'm just getting settled in and people know me and are starting to be willing to work with me. I'd be screwed for life."

Finn scoffed. "Oh yeah, you with your brilliant writing, attractive charm, and famous last name could never find another job, _especially_ not in the newspaper business."

"Finn, you know my father!" Logan said, getting angry. "You know he could make it worth anyone's while to refuse me a job, and you know he would if I did this kind of thing."

"I also know your girlfriend, who is terribly hurt that her man isn't here for her right now," said the Australian coldly.

"Oh yeah, and you would know instantly the right choice to make if you were in this situation!" Logan retorted. "Just watch Ace for me." He hung up.

Finn snapped his phone closed. "Bastard."

——————————

"I'd go with you, Rory, really I would, but I have another class this afternoon, and… but it you want me to, I will," Paris said ruefully, looking downcast.

"No, Paris, it's okay," Rory said softly. "My mom's here. I'll be okay. Just make a pot of coffee as soon as you get back, okay?" she said with a small smile. "Good and strong."

"I will," the blonde promised.

Lorelai came out of the bathroom. "Let's go, hon," she said gently. She took Rory's hand and helped her get off the bed; Rory was still stiff and sore—even more so from not having been on her feet in several hours.

"All right. Let's go," Rory said, setting her teeth. Lorelai wrapped her arm around her daughter's waist, half-supporting the battered frame, and they went out the door.

They almost ran into Finn and Colin. "Oh… so sorry, loves," Finn said. "Where… where are you headed?" he asked hesitantly.

Lorelai looked at Rory, who shrugged slightly. "We're going to the hospital," Lorelai answered, subdued. Rory bit her lip to avoid crying at the sight of Finn, trying to stop herself from thumbing through the vivid, cutting memories of the last night.

The taller brunette mentally kicked himself. _I knew she should have gone. Again and again, I am realizing too late that I should have made somebody do something. Sometime I have to learn that people need some things that they won't ask for._

"Oh." Colin said dully. "Well, we just wanted to, you know, check on you… I hope you'll… be okay, Reporter Girl." He blinked several times in rapid succession, and then in an awkward and unaccustomed, yet friendly and tender gesture he laid his hand on her shoulder for a moment.

"Thanks, Colin," Rory whispered, fighting the tears.

Finn looked at her for a moment. The wet glimmer of her eyes, the bruises on her face and the cut on her nose, the tightened lips—he felt as if someone had stabbed him in the gut. He could hardly stand the sense of injustice—how incredibly and absolutely _wrong_ it had been to do such a brutal thing to a woman. He had thought and hoped that he'd never have to look at someone and feel that again.

"Sorry," he said hoarsely. "So sorry."

Rory nodded and turned away to regain control of the brimming fluid that threatened, and to stop having to see the raw look on his face. She could hardly tell what it expressed, but the honesty and reality of it frightened her when she saw it on someone like Finn, whose expressions usually seemed to have something of a hard gloss on them.

He spoke quietly. "Rory, pet, I'd like to come with you." Colin looked at him oddly; Finn signaled with a slight tilt of his head that he knew what he was doing.

Lorelai raised her eyebrows and turned to her daughter. "Ror… is that—would that be… okay?" she said.

Rory looked bewildered. "Um… well…" she hesitated.

"It's just that I think Logan would want to be with you, and I'm supposed to be doing everything in his place." He said it a bit offhandedly, making an effort to lighten the touch on the raw place that he knew Logan's decision had created in her heart.

"I guess it _would _be nice to have someone else there… to help me remember and so that _I_ don't have to go around telling _everybody_… what gets found out," Rory said, faltering. "If you don't mind, Mom," she emended.

"No, it would be good," Lorelai assured her. _If he is in the way, we can always send him for coffee. And then, he'll be there too if I… if I need to go get coffee… whatever, idiot—if I need to go break down and cry._ "Mothers are the best for comfort, but after that, well… guys have stronger arms and broader chests." _She wants him to be there… she wants someone she can really hang onto,_ Lorelai thought with a very small pang.

"Well," Colin said self-consciously, "I have a class soon. Take care, Reporter Girl," he said, nodding at her brightly. "And Lorelai. You take care too," he added, almost blushing. "And Rory…" he began again, "You know where I am. If you need anything Finn can't do for you, or is too lazy to do," he smiled a bit, "Well, you know."

"I know. Thanks, Colin," she replied. They headed off in opposite directions.

——————————

"Well, Rory, your results came out negative on all the tests—no HIV, hep B, HPV, chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, or infections of any kind. You're a very lucky young woman." The doctor smiled gravely and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"They did seem… well, pretty young…" Rory said quietly to her mother and Finn, with a small smile.

"Now, had you been previously sexually active?" the doctor asked.

"Yes," Rory murmured. Lorelai's arm was around her shoulders, and Finn had taken her hand; just so had they sat through the long periods of waiting and questions.

"As far as you could tell, at what time last night did this happen?"

Rory looked at Finn. "When did I call you?"

"Fifteen minutes to four, kitten," he said.

"Well, I think I sat, too… too scared to move, too hurt to get my phone, for a long time… and I left the pub about one… so it all took probably from just after one until just after three AM," Rory managed to tell her, taking short breaths to try and keep herself calm. Finn rubbed circles on the back of her hand with his thumb, and Lorelai hugged her closer.

"Are you currently on birth control?"

"No."

"Why not? I don't mean to pry, but we have to know everything about what was going on."

"My boyfriend… had to move to London. We're still together; I haven't been seeing anyone else; so, since he's gone for quite awhile…" Rory stopped, unsure of exactly what to say.

"Okay; I see. No need to be ashamed. It was a perfectly normal and logical decision," the doctor said reassuringly. "And when did your last menstrual period start?"

"Ummm…" Rory looked at the ceiling, counting the days. "Fourteenth of August; just over two weeks ago."

"Are you fairly regular?"

"Yes; very much so."

"How long is your cycle, usually?"

"A bit long… thirty-one days, usually."

The motherly-looking doctor appeared somber. "Rory, I don't think I have to tell you that the timing of this makes it highly likely that you'll be pregnant if something isn't done. Therefore, I'm prescribing 'Plan B' in a fairly large dosage." She jotted a few notes on a sheet on her clipboard, and then wrote out a prescription. She looked at Rory directly but compassionately. "If you don't want to get this prescription filled, you don't have to. I'm giving it to you now so that you can use it if you want, but you can think about it for a bit if you have any hesitations or concerns. With these pills you shouldn't have any significant side effects, but I must warn you that, like with any drug and especially any hormonal medicine, there are always risks; but it is a very small number of bodies out of a very great number that react badly."

Rory nodded. "Thank you."

"There are some things we should still discuss quickly, but if you'd like to take a break—get a drink or a bite to eat or something—I could wait a few minutes," the doctor said kindly.

"I'd rather just get it over with," Rory said tiredly.

"All right then. The issue here is of identifying the men who attacked you," she began. "Ideally, we would take samples and you'd talk to the police to narrow down the suspects and tests could be done."

"Even if I soaked in a bath last night?" asked the young woman.

The doctor sighed. "It would be more difficult, but it's likely that we could still get what we needed."

Rory looked anxious and pensive. _I really don't want this to get all over everywhere. I don't want to have it drag out and keep on being such a horrible thing. I just want to go on and… and… I want to heal. But wouldn't it help the healing for those guys to be properly dealt with? … I don't know. No; no, I don't think so. I don't think it would help. It would make everything so much more painful and protracted… Revenge like that isn't worth it. The closure hurts too much. I'll find it somewhere else, somehow. There's some other way of dealing with it…_ Suddenly she heard her own voice. "Is it… required by law?"

"That's a tricky question. The whole issue is rather muddled. But I will remind you that a pretty invasive examination would be involved and we can't legally force you to undergo that," the doctor said, seeming to understand what Rory wanted.

Lorelai also understood it. She struggled with it. _But I want those guys to hurt! It's only right that justice is served! It wouldn't be fair for them to hurt her and get away scot-free. It wouldn't be fair and it wouldn't be right._ She bit her lip. _But if it's what she really wants it wouldn't be fair to force her into something else. She doesn't want to hurt any more; I can understand that. Maybe it **is** better to just let it go. NO! I can't let that happen; those guys have to be punished! But… it would be so much more painful to her… _She looked at Rory. The cuts, the bruises; the marks were on her body and her heart. _It would do more damage than it's worth_, Lorelai decided, exhausted from battling her own mind.

Rory looked at her and then at Finn. The expressions on their faces, of anger mixed with concern and hurt, and then of resignation, were nearly the same. She relaxed when she saw them both seem to accept what they knew she wanted. "I… I have to say I don't want the tests done. They were just four stupid, malicious, young guys and if they ever mature enough to be sorry for what they did they'll be pained enough by it to punish themselves, and if they don't get to that point I don't see how anybody knowing who they were and punishing them from outside would bring them to it," she concluded.

The doctor looked at her, eyes concerned. "All right. We'll respect your wishes." She wrote a few more notes on the clipboard, and then removed the paper and the prescription sheet. "Take these— you keep those two, and give those copies to the admin assistant at the desk on your way out. Take care of yourself, Rory; just relax for awhile; stretch your sore muscles and ice the hurt places. You'll be all right. You're strong," she encouraged.

"Thank you. Thank you so much, doctor," Rory said, embarrassed that her eyes were once again filling.

"You're very welcome," the doctor smiled and held the door for the three as they walked out.

——————————

When they had left the hospital, Lorelai hugged Rory and did a small dance of joy. "I'm so glad, hon, I'm so glad. How horrible it could have been… but it wasn't! It wasn't!" she cried. Finn turned to Rory and gave her a gentle but fervent hug. He held her close to him, supporting her as she cried—exhausted, relieved, still frightened and nervous. He rubbed her back with warm, strong hands and said to her, "It wasn't horrible, pet. You are going to be okay, y' know that? You're going to really be okay. You are going to come out just fine." He tried to convince himself with his words—somehow he felt that it couldn't be over that quickly.

"Thank you… thank you so, so much for being here, Finn. You're so strong… I love that. Thank you. And, Mom," she said, wiping her cheeks—but they were instantly wetted again. "Mom, you are… you are amazing. Thank you. Thank you for being amazing," she reiterated and hugged Lorelai again.

Lorelai, Rory, and Finn walked back to the car, again connected arm to shoulders and hand to hand.

_Is that really all?_ wondered Finn.

**AN:** Man, that chapter was long; I really didn't mean for it to be that way but I had to fit it all in. They seem to be getting progressively longer… Thanks so much for sticking with it! If you'd rather have shorter chapters let me know; that is one thing I can and will change if it bothers everybody.


	6. Prescription Feminism Perspicacity Fear

**AN: **Thanks so much to reviewers! Especial thanks to "just hidden" for pointing out that Logan's in London so he wouldn't have been asleep when Rory called. blushes furiously smacks self upside the head That was stupid. That was a careless, moronic error and I apologize for my negligence. But I'm too lazy to repost the chapter, so… make up your own excuse. :P Here's more of the story! The title represents the crazy jumble that is this chapter.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Gilmore Girls_. I don't think any network would employ a teenager as the main writer of a half-an-hour special, much less a weekly, hour-long drama/comedy.

Colin looked up instantly from the book he was reading when Finn walked in. "So… what's up?" he said, trying to be nonchalant.

Finn's eyes were glowing. "All tests negative. Well, infection-wise, that is… I guess there's no way to know yet with… you know…"

"Yeah. Right." Colin said, breaking out in a smile.

"Man, she could have been so messed up… who knows what guys like that could have had," Finn said, running a hand through his hair.

"Anything else?" Colin said meaningfully.

"Like what?"

"Like… well, like IDing them," he clarified hesitantly.

The Aussie's already swarthy face looked much darker with the expression of anger that took hold of it. "She doesn't want to."

Colin was incredulous. "What! She doesn't want to know! What about Lorelai? Doesn't she want to find out? Don't they want something to be _done_ about it!"

"I don't know, mate!" Finn said, frustrated. "I think Lorelai really wanted to push her to get the exams done, but you know Rory love… it seems like she's scared that things will get spread all over there and there will be nasty rumors and such… I know it would hurt but wouldn't it hurt more to let the guys go?" he ranted.

Colin cursed. "That just seems… _wrong_. Justice is being thwarted here."

"But really, mate, it's Rory's choice and if she thinks this is best…" Finn shrugged, trying to be kind and making an effort to relax his fists.

"I suppose so," Colin said, his voice hard.

——————————

"Rory," Lorelai began firmly as they walked into the apartment, "sweetie, I didn't want to bring this up at the hospital or with Finn around, but I really think you should try and get the guys identified."

"Mom, I don't want to talk about this any more right now. What I really think we should do is get this prescription filled."

"That too, but babe… those guys deserve to be punished. It's just not right to let jerks like them off."

Rory sighed heavily, afraid she was going to start crying again. "It's… it's too hard. They were just idiotic jerks, and I hate them, but going through all of that would be more pain than it's worth! Don't you see?" Her voice broke. "There… there would be so much… so much that people would hear, so much that they would say… it would be… just too hard. I need it all to just stop. I need…" she couldn't speak anymore.

"Babe, I'm sorry," Lorelai said swiftly, pulling her daughter close to her.

"Mom…" Rory sobbed. "Mom, let's just… let's just go get the prescription filled and… go home. I want to go home. I want to see Luke, and get his coffee, and talk to Lane, and watch a movie and eat chocolate and ice cream. Let's go home."

"Okay babe, shhhh, okay."

——————————

"Just to warn you, nausea and dizziness are pretty common side effects—but it really is very rare that anyone has a serious reaction," the pharmacist said lightly as she handed Lorelai the small white paper bag.

"Thanks very much," she said hastily and she and Rory went back to the car.

"First dose take one pill by mouth; second dose take one pill by mouth 7-12 hours after first dose," Rory read.

"Now, we'll stop by and grab whatever you're going to need for awhile. I don't know why we didn't do that before we went to get the pills…" Lorelai trailed off.

"Because we're us, mom."

"Oh, that's right. But then we'll go right home. We will have a major movie night tonight."

"But… it's already past six, and it's a Monday," Rory said.

"So? I'll go in late tomorrow if worst comes to worst. Movies and junk food are the first step in the process of getting over anything, from Brad and Jen's breakup to _this_," Lorelai finished quietly.

"Okay… whatever," sighed her daughter.

Lorelai drove the rest of the way back to the apartment in silence.

——————————

Finn's phone awoke him once again. He rolled over and cursed, then answered. "'Lo."

"Hey, Finn; it's Steph. What's up?"

"Not much."

"Wordy today, aren't we?" she teased. "Anyway, I was just calling to see if anybody has plans tonight… movies or dinner or any kind of hanging out."

"Not that I know of," Finn said tiredly. "Honestly, love, I don't think anything much is going to be going on this fine evening, unless you and Rosemary and Juliet go get facials or something… not that I wouldn't ordinarily join you on such an excursion, doll, but I'm completely exhausted; Colin and Robert have an early class tomorrow; Seth and Lanny probably have something already planned with their flavors of the week… find some girls if you want to get together, sweet."

"You sound dead. I didn't think you got _that_ drunk last night."

"I didn't." He had gotten home, talked to Colin, eaten a sandwich, and promptly fallen asleep, completely drained. The ten minute nap hadn't been enough to give him the energy for a normal Stephanie/Finn dialogue.

"Care to explain the flatness of your manner then?" Stephanie asked; he could almost hear her eyebrow arching.

"Well, as you know, kitten, we got shoved out of the pub at 2 AM; less than two hours later I got a phone call that woke me up and kept me that way until about five; about three hours later I was reawakened for awhile; I slept on and off for maybe a couple of hours and then I had a class and then… I was busy all afternoon. The ratio of dealing with the day to sleep time has been altogether too high, doll."

"Please, be a little vaguer; the details of your story are too shocking for my poor nerves," the blonde said dryly.

Finn sighed, yawned, and rubbed his eyes. "Love, it's not my place to tell you why I was up all night and busy all day. Why don't you… I'll meet you at Rory's apartment; get there as soon as you can because I don't know when she's going to leave."

"What! Rory's! Rory is the reason you were up all night?" Finn sensed the perfectly shaped eyebrow going higher.

He rolled his eyes. "Not like that, Steph kitten, you moron. I didn't put it that way and you know it. Just hurry up. I'll see you there, love."

"Only because I'm curious," she said.

"I think it's actually because I'm exotic and devilishly charming," he said sarcastically.

"Finally, a trace of humor!" Stephanie cheered. "Even if it is terribly unoriginal."

"Honestly, sweet, I'm hanging up now. Get to Rory's." He closed his phone, stretched and yawned again, and then got up to go. "I'm going to Rory's apartment, mate!" he called.

"Say hi and hope you're okay to her for me," Colin responded.

——————————

"First things first," Rory said faintly when the two women got to the apartment. She went into the kitchen with the bag and poured a small glass of water, and then swallowed one small white pill.

Lorelai went into Rory's bedroom and started filling a duffel bag with clothes, toiletries, and a couple of pairs of shoes. "Which pajamas do you want, hon?"

"The David and Goliath 'chicks rule' ones."

"Ah, well, you have good reason to be in a feminist mood," Lorelai muttered.

Rory sighed and sat down on her bed, watching her mother pack. Then she yawned slightly and fell back against the pillows, closing her eyes. Lorelai turned and looked penetratingly at her. _She's **so** tired…poor, poor baby… look at those dark circles, and those cuts, and the swelling… I hate them. I hate those bastards._ She went back to putting things in the bag.

"Ahhh… Rory, pet?" said an accented voice from the doorway of the apartment.

The girl sat up. "Finn?" she said, bemused.

"Yes, love, it's me and Steph. Can we come in?"

"We're in my bedroom. Hey, put a pot of coffee on, will you?" Rory asked.

"You want me to bring coffee to your bedroom? Intriguing," the Aussie remarked loudly.

"Sure, Finn," Rory said dully.

The boy put the coffee on, while Stephanie came into Rory's room. When she saw Rory, she cried out. "What happened to you?" she demanded.

Rory winced. "Like I said, you're Finn… lack of tact runs deep in the both of you." She took a deep breath.

Finn came ambling into the room—but was arrested just past the doorway. He cursed under his breath, so low that no one could hear. _Like a mask dropped… like a living mask was taken off and you see death underneath… how could someone so alive suddenly look so exactly like someone I saw in a casket? Mel wasn't even a brunette… wasn't tall… had skin like a bronze statue, not a porcelain teacup… but they look exactly the same. How is that even possible?_ "Sorry if we're intruding, love, but Steph told me she had to break the news of her undying love for you and needed me for moral support," he joked hesitantly, not knowing what to say. _Moron. Mate, how is it that you can be fine in the moment of the crisis and then when everything is over you can't deal with it? It's just that… the way she looked…_ "But really, pet, we're here because… Stephanie doll doesn't know what happened and I didn't think I should just tell her without talking to you, kitten."

"Thanks, Finn; I appreciate that. Ummmm… Steph… Last night… when I left the pub alone… I was attacked and raped on the way home," the last part came out in a rush of words. Accompanying the words was a rain of tears. Rory swore quietly. "I thought I would be done with that. I thought this crying crap would stop…" she muttered.

Stephanie swiftly moved to the bed, her own eyes spilling over. "Oh, Rory, hon, I'm so so so sorry… I'm so sorry…" she said as she hugged her friend and they cried.

Finn stood awkwardly, looking on. Lorelai came out of the bathroom with a handful of toiletries. "Shall we go retrieve some of that coffee my brilliant daughter asked you to make, exotic man?" she said tactfully.

"Excellent idea, love," he said, casting her a grateful look.

——————————

"I just wanted to say thanks again. It means a lot to a mom when you take care of her baby," Lorelai smiled as she poured a cup of the black brew.

"Well, she's Reporter Girl… we've got to take care of her or Logan will have our heads," Finn said awkwardly.

Lorelai looked serious. "I know you did it for more than the fear of Logan's wrath. I'm wanting to believe that it was really because you care about her as a friend. But she's been terribly hurt, and if you or Stephanie or Colin are being nice like this just to take advantage of her in any way I will be after your blood. Are you hip to the jive? can you dig what I'm layin' down?" Finn nodded, "I knew that you could—slide me some skin, soul brother," she quoted, unable to stay grave throughout the speech.

Finn laughed slightly and stuck out his hand. "Agreed," he said in a Barbossa voice.

Lorelai gasped. "You can't switch movies!"

"Well, Mike Teavee didn't have a response to Willy's speech! Barbossa seemed more appropriate, love," Finn reasoned.

She sighed. "There seems to be an inordinate amount of rationalizing about improper usage of Johnny Depp-related banter lately. Someone needs to teach you whippersnappers the rules."

"Kitten, I'd take a lesson from you anytime," he said smoothly, cocking an eyebrow.

"That kind of talk is _not_ the way to convince me that you'll be kind to my daughter," Lorelai groaned. "However, it does sound sexy with that accent of yours." She grinned and picked up two very large mugs of coffee. "You take the other two," she gestured toward the more normally sized cups.

——————————

"Okay, babe," Lorelai said when the Gilmore girls had finished their enormous servings of the beverage and the other two had taken a few sips. "We should head out. It's almost seven. We may only get to do one or two movies tonight."

"Movies?" Stephanie perked up.

"I'm… going back to Stars Hollow for a little while. A little R&R. We were planning on having a movie night, but it looks like it'll be an abbreviated version," Rory said, setting her mug down and wiping her eyes.

"But you'll be so far away," Steph mourned sincerely.

Lorelai looked at Rory with a question in her eyes. Rory smiled with her own; it was more than she could do to spread the answer to the rest of her face. "Come with us, if you want. It'd be nice for me to feel safer and happier about leaving for work tomorrow."

Finn looked startled, and yet somehow relieved. _Nope… can't go with. Can't go there… I can't do any more aftermath. But I suppose it's a good idea… how can I keep an eye on her when she's miles and miles away? She'd be sitting alone in the house all day. That'd be worse. Finn, mate, you can't do that! Much too deep for you, mate… But poor Rory, bored and lonely and frightened with no one to distract her… memorizing it even more… You've got to go._ "Well, I don't have class until the two on Wednesday afternoon, so I could stay for awhile," he conceded almost involuntarily.

Stephanie thought for a second, and then broke into a timid smile with a small sniff. "I don't have any classes 'til that afternoon either. I could go, if you want me to," she offered hesitantly.

"Good. Really good. Go grab whatever you need from your rooms and meet us in the parking lot." Lorelai described her car and they agreed to find and follow her.

——————————

"Well, you're manic-depressive tonight," Stephanie said from the passenger seat of Finn's Porsche after he had sat silently for several minutes—a period that had followed another full of buoyant small talk and banter.

"Not enough alcohol, love, mixed with too little sleep." His head was relaxed back against the seat and his hands held the wheel loosely.

"Not buying it. Nothing that simple ever causes you to roll on that even keel of yours. What is going on, Finn?"

"Nothing, kitten."

"Liar."

Finn sighed. "Steph, my sweet, I am angry. I am angry and pissed off and stressed and very, very tired."

"You're also freaking out, aren't you?" she said, with characteristic perspicacity.

The Australian stiffened. "Why would I be freaking out, doll? I am going to my friend's house with my other friend to watch movies and hang out for a couple of days. It will be a lovely time."

"Shut up. You are scared out of your mind. Of what, I don't know, but the fact remains."

"Fear is a very common state of the human mind, love. Highly irrational, but common nonetheless."

"Look who actually read his Psych textbook!" Stephanie mocked lightly. "But what I'm saying is, apparently you dealt with Rory's night just fine, and then this afternoon and tonight you're flipping out. It's a completely irrational way to act, but I'm sensing a rational base under it."

"Now look who's quoting the Psych prof!" Finn retorted.

Stephanie snorted. "You _are_ bipolar! I don't have to have memorized the lectures to understand how you behave; I just have to have known you intimately for nine years."

"Intimately, love?" he looked at her momentarily and cocked an eyebrow.

"I hate you sometimes," she mumbled. "I'm just saying, I've been your friend for a long time and I know when you're upset. So don't do anything stupid."

"I don't do stupid things when I'm upset!" he attempted his usual feigning-innocence look but couldn't quite pull it off this time. A little too serious, a little too true to do that.

"Don't lie to me. Logan, Colin, and Rory may not have known Carolyn and Melanie, but I did, and I knew you when your radical personality change was underway. I never heard the whole story, and I'm not going to pry, and I love you the way you are, but you were really stupid for awhile there. Don't make your life a rerun."

Finn said nothing.

——————————

Rory was asleep in the passenger seat of Lorelai's car when her cell phone rang. Lorelai quickly snatched it and opened it. "Hello?" she said quietly.

"Ah… hello… Rory?" said a male voice hesitantly.

"No, this is Lorelai," said she, rather frigidly.

"Ummm… could I please speak with her?"

"Logan, it's after one o'clock your time. Why are you calling her right now?"

"I'm calling her because she's my girlfriend and I'd like to talk to her before I go to sleep," he said frustratedly.

"Well, she's sleeping and I'm not about to wake her up. I'll let her know you called."

"Fine, Lorelai, thank you," sighed the blonde and hung up.

"Son of a…" Lorelai muttered to herself. _Why are you so angry with him? You liked him for awhile there. He was a good guy. But he went to London and he let her get hurt and he didn't answer! Hey, you didn't answer either. But I was sleeping! He didn't answer in the middle of the morning when normal people are awake and active and alert! Jerk… He hurt her too so I get to hate him too._ "Really mature, Lorelai," she mumbled. But there it was.

**AN: **I think I like this chapter. It's almost like filler, but almost not; it's still important. Thanks for reading! And reviewing! _"Nudge nudge, wink wink, eh eh, say n'more say n'more, know what I mean? Know what I mean?"_


	7. Many A Record Set Tonight

**AN: **This chapter is kind of crazy. The whole medical situation… I don't know if it's a thing that can actually happen, but it seems reasonable to me so that's what I decided it would be. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**Disclaimer: **I'm gifted in a lot of ways, but not with the ownership of GG, _The Philadelphia Story_, or _Casablanca_… I'd always hoped that my love for Jimmy Stewart, Cary Grant, and Humphrey Bogart would resurrect them, but apparently that's not feasible… Sorry. No more rambling. Point is, it's not mine.

"Hey, Lane, it's Lorelai."

"Hi Lorelai! What's up?" said the young woman, a bit surprised to hear from her friend's mom at eight o'clock on a weeknight.

"Ah, well, Rory is home for awhile, and she and I would like you to come hang out for awhile, if you can leave your charming husband for a night."

"What! Rory's home? I thought classes started today!" Lane exclaimed, mystified. "Why is she here? Did something happen?" she gasped.

"Yes, Lane… something bad happened, but she'd rather tell you herself. She's here with a couple of her Yale friends and we're going to watch a movie or two; she just wanted to see you and talk to you first. We'd love it if you'd stay for the movies, but you don't have to if you're busy."

"Sure I'll stay! I'll be over as soon as I can!" Lane said anxiously.

"Thanks, hon; Rory will really appreciate being able to talk to you. See you soon." Lorelai hung up. She massaged her temples. _Telling people… yet another way for the whole issue to be so much more painful._ She got up from her chair at the kitchen table and went into the living room. "Ror, Lane's going to be here soon. You guys are welcome to channel-surf until we start the movies," she added to Stephanie and Finn.

"Give me that remote, love," Finn instructed the blonde.

"No! I want to decide for once," she protested.

"You go through the channels much too slowly," he whined.

"If you two can't be mature about it, I'll give the remote to Rory—and she's partial to C-Span," Lorelai threatened.

Finn conceded. "Fine, Steph kitten… you choose. Faster than a drunken, staggering tortoise would be nice, doll."

Rory and Stephanie looked at each other and rolled their eyes. "I don't know how we expect you to sit through two movies… you have the attention span of a housefly," Rory muttered. She was settled in the middle of the couch, with Stephanie on her left and a space for Lorelai on the right, a bag of Dove dark chocolates in her lap. A mug of coffee sat steaming in front of her on the table, next to bowls of popcorn, pretzels, marshmallows, licorice, M&Ms, Skittles, a log of cookie dough, and a jar of peanut butter. Finn was sprawled on the floor with his back against Stephanie's knees and his legs spread-eagled so that one was under the coffee table and one at a forty-five degree angle to its short side.

The doorbell rang and Lorelai opened the door for Lane. "Hey, sweets," she said, with a rather grave smile.

"Hi," Lane greeted her, and then went straight to Rory. Stephanie, for once being discreet, moved to the other side of the couch so Lane could take her place; Lorelai sat in her corner on Rory's right. "Rory… what is it?" the Korean girl asked concernedly.

Rory took a deep breath. _I hate this. It sucks._ "Lane, I'm here tonight, and for awhile yet, because… last night I was walking home from the pub, and… there were these guys… and they raped me." The waterworks had begun immediately, both on Rory's part and on Lane's, Lorelai's, and Stephanie's.

"Oh, Rory… oh, Rory… oh, Ror…" was all Lane could say as she hugged the brunette tightly.

"This whole thing sucks… I hate having to tell people…" Rory sobbed. "I'm sorry… this is so embarrassing… but it hurts so much, you know? Sometimes you wouldn't think it would be such a big deal, but it is… it really is… they were such jerks and I didn't matter to them at all and to be… to be literally forced, to have sex when you'd rather be doing anything else in the world, when you'd rather die… nobody should ever have to do that! It shouldn't even be possible! I can't… I can't tell you… I can't tell you how much it hurt…" Rory cried into Lane's shoulder.

Finn stared at the television, anguished. _Of course I have to be here to hear this over and over again… She's right; that should never happen. Anybody who would even **think** of doing that should be murdered. Reduced to a bloody puddle. 'S not as if I'm arguing sex has to mean love, or anything… but to get anything out of it—or want to—when you get it by brutality… sick and twisted…_

The four women on the couch cried themselves out in a few minutes and after a moment of exhausted silence, Lorelai said coolly, "We're starting with _The Philadelphia Story_, for handsome, romantic men and a happy ending. The closer will be _Casablanca_… just because it is what it is."

——————————

The five people sat through the movies in almost complete silence, except for a few moments of laughter, whispering lines with the characters from Lorelai and Rory, and then stormy tears during _Casablanca_. By the end, all four girls' eyes were red and faces streaked, and Finn had gotten into the spirit and cried a bit too—not that it was terribly hard, in his worn-out state. Innumerable cups of coffee and unimaginable amounts of sugar had been consumed.

"That must be a record for the most crap eaten in one night," Finn muttered. Rory, Lorelai, and Lane merely smiled at him condescendingly.

"Quite possibly a record for volume of tears shed in five hours, though," Lane said quietly. Rory nodded, her eyes drooping and bloodshot.

"Oh… I guess it's been about seven hours…" she suddenly said and got up.

"What's the significance of seven hours?" Stephanie asked.

Rory's face colored. "Ummm… emergency birth control… second dose," she mumbled and went to get the second pill and a glass of water.

——————————

Very shortly Lane, Stephanie, and Rory were installed in Lorelai's big bed; Finn was stretched out on the couch; and Lorelai was curled up on Rory's bed. Lorelai had been going to take the couch, but Finn the ever-chivalrous had insisted that she needed a bed more than he did. They all said good night to one another, and almost everyone fell asleep.

——————————

Rory lay between her friends for a quarter of an hour, completely exhausted but unable to fall asleep for some reason. _There's something stopping me. I know it's not the nightmares; I'm afraid of those but not enough to keep me awake when I'm **this** tired. Oh, I just want to go to sleep… please, brain, just relax… please let me fall asleep… what is it? Why can't I sleep? Hey… It's a headache. That's it. My head hurts. I'm tired, had lots of sugar, watched movies in the dark, am extremely stressed… makes sense. Just need a couple of Advil._

But what had been a creeping, below-her-consciousness ache suddenly began to gallop into the forefront of her mind, almost literally—it was a searing, throbbing pain just above and behind her eyes. _Man… another record tonight—most painful headache ever. I really need to get something for this_. She slid out of the bed, careful not to wake either of the other girls, and, with a hand rubbing the bridge of her nose, crept into the bathroom. She found Advil, but there were no paper cups left for a drink. _It would be great if I were not a person that needed a thousand gulps of water to down a couple of pills,_ Rory thought, frustrated. Small capsules in hand, she slipped downstairs.

Quickly she found a glass and filled it. Swallowing the pills, she thought, _I hope these work quickly_. And then, she heard the sound of shattering glass and she was doubled over, on the ground, stricken with terrifying stomach cramps. She'd have screamed, or moaned, or _something _if she could draw the breath to do it.

"Pet, what's wrong?" she heard a voice suddenly by her side. She shook her head violently, trying to communicate that she couldn't speak, but soon regretted it. The pain in both places seemed to be more than she could possibly stand. "Lorelai!" the voice called hoarsely.

——————————

Lorelai was awakened by the crash of the glass, but not quite fully. _What the…_she thought groggily. Then there were heavy steps, and then Finn's voice calling to her. Hastily she pushed the blankets away and hurried out to the kitchen.

When she saw Finn crouched beside Rory, the latter rocking in the fetal position with silent tears streaming down her face, she swore. "What _happened_!"

"I don't know. I don't know. I heard the shattering and I ran in here and she was doubled over and she won't talk and I don't think she can breathe." He was panicking. _Rory love, come on, breathe, pet, breathe! Come on, kitten, talk to me…_

_I would talk and I would breathe if my lungs could expand without breaking me… _Rory thought desperately after he spoke.

Lorelai said quickly, "You can drive faster than I do. Take her out to your car and I'll get the girls and follow you."

Finn nodded and spoke to Rory. "Sweet, I'm going to pick you up… I'm so sorry if I hurt you… hang on, doll, hang on," he encouraged, though petrified.

"I… hurt," she gasped incoherently as he scooped her up. Then she passed out.

——————————

"Steph, Lane, wake up. Wake up, babes!" Lorelai said, shaking them urgently. "Come on, girls, wake up."

Lane awakened first. "Hmmm? What is it? Lorelai?" she mumbled fuzzily.

"Hon, get up; throw your clothes on. Steph, wake _up_," said Lorelai more insistently.

The blonde sat up suddenly. "What's going on?" she exclaimed.

"Girls, get your clothes on. Something's… something's wrong with Rory and we're going to the hospital." The two young women pulled on the jeans they had had on earlier and, sliding bras on under the tank tops they slept in, grabbed shoes—any shoes— and headed out with Lorelai.

——————————

Finn alternated between mumbling oaths to himself and talking frantically to Rory as he drove. "Rory, pet, please wake up, please wake up and stretch out and breathe, love!" he would beg, but she stayed still. The only other sounds were shallow, rattling breaths and occasional small cries of pain from the young woman bundled into the seat beside him.

——————————

They made it to Hartford in record time; he navigated quickly to the hospital and found the ER entrance. Luckily the parking was near it and very open this late at night; he parked and jumped out of the car. Scooping her up once again, he murmured reassuring words.

To his gratification, there were no other patients that hadn't already been assessed. He went up to the desk with Rory in his aching arms. "Excuse me…"

The nurse at the desk looked up. "Oh, my. Looks like you've got a very sick girl there."

"Ah, yes."

"What's wrong?" the woman prompted.

"The problem is… I don't really know. She's my friend; I was over at her house; I was sleeping on the couch when I hear a crash from the kitchen; I run in and she's curled up on the floor—she'd dropped a glass of water from her hand; she can't talk and can't breathe very well and she passed out about twenty minutes ago as we were leaving her house. I don't know what happened," he babbled, his accent thickening with the stress.

"What has she been up to in the last couple of days?"

"Well… we went out last night… Sunday night… was that still only last night? We went out to the pub and had a few drinks to celebrate the beginning of the school year and then she insisted on walking home by herself… and she was raped. By four guys. Repeatedly." He swore to himself as his eyes brimmed with tears and then overflowed. "This afternoon she went to a doctor… no infections, but she got an emergency contraceptive. Tonight we'd just been hanging out… watching movies and snacking…"

"Hold on. The contraceptive—do you know if it was hormonal, or an IUD? When did she take it?"

"The doctor wrote a prescription, but I don't know… her mom will be here in a minute, I think; she'll know…" He cursed again. "Where is Lorelai?" He was growing frantic.

The nurse felt Rory's forehead. "No fever… quick pulse… shallow breathing… hormonal EC… all right. She's going to be here for awhile. I'll call a gurney—you don't have to keep carrying her," she smiled just slightly.

"Thanks… thanks," he mumbled and kissed Rory's forehead.

——————————

Lorelai and the two girls hurried into the ER just as the stretcher was arriving. "Finn, Rory, thank God!" she called and ran over to them. "I'm this girl's mother," she said to the nurse.

"Ma'am, the young man told me what's been going on the last day or so; do you know when she took the EC?"

"Second dose was about forty-five minutes ago. Is that… do you think that's what it is?" Lorelai said, frightened even more.

"That seems the most likely. Apparently her body is reacting extremely hostilely to the hormones. It happens sometimes; the hormonal system may be temporarily out of sync with the rest of the body because of the rape and the stress and when synthetics come into the picture, the hypothalamus of the brain, which regulates the body's chemicals, revolts against the body and she's essentially fighting herself."

"Is it dangerous?" the three women and Finn said almost simultaneously.

"If we can't get the systems to calm down and regulate themselves within a short amount of time, there can be permanent damage."

Eight eyes blinked, stunned, and suddenly were flooded with tears.


	8. No Apathy in a Hospital

b AN1: /b I just realized that I wrote this chapter a long time ago and haven't posted it here yet because of server issues… and I am exceedingly sorry for the long wait! I will get a few chapters up in the next few days, I hope, but my life is insanely busy, so no guarantees… Thanks!

b AN2: /b Again, I am going to say (not as a reaction to any reviews; you've been great; just as a preemptive measure) that the medical stuff in this chapter? Not so much real or heavily researched. It may be kind of a made-up malady, but I've tried to make it reasonable and decently realistic. I absolutely promise Logan will appear in the flesh in the next chapter, but I must remind you he's not a hero in this story—read "Waiting and Remembering" if you're looking for that! (I know, it's a shameless plug, but I don't really care…) I couldn't get it in this time; I've had a busy day and I didn't want to stay up way late making the chapter as long as I wanted, but next time—hopefully tomorrow or the next day. As always, thanks for reading and reviewing!

b Disclaimer: /b I do have an A, an S, and a P in my name… but they aren't my initials. And I'm a girl, so I'm definitely not Daniel Rosenthal or the CEO of the WB, or the CW, or whatever.

Finn looked up at the doctor the instant he stepped into the waiting room. He shifted nervously as the man opened his mouth to speak.

"I'm sorry, but at this time all I can tell you is that it's a waiting game; she's still unconscious. We're just continuing to flush her system with fluid, basically a glorified saline solution, in order to dilute the hormone she took. After a period of that, we'll start giving her a cocktail of hormones to try and restore the equilibrium of chemicals in her body."

Lorelai's eyes were still red and teary, but she said calmly, "Thank you, doctor."

"Is there—" Stephanie began hesitantly. "Is there a chance we could see her soon?"

"Well, miss, I don't think it'd be a good idea right now. There are nurses in and out of her room constantly—it takes vigilance to make sure the right fluids are being put in and taken out—and it would be difficult to work around you. Furthermore, Rory is in a coma; she can't interact with you and she doesn't look very good right now, so it would be needlessly upsetting to you."

"Ummm… one more question—why, exactly, is she in a coma?" Lorelai asked, confused.

"To put it simply, the imbalanced hormones (complicated by whatever other health issues or stresses she had, physical or psychological) in a way short-circuited her brain, and then it shut down to try and let the body work out the chemical issues on its own. We don't know why the brain does that; it's extremely unfortunate because without the involvement of the hypothalamus the body can't do anything to regulate the hormones—the different systems of the body, lymph, vascular, hormonal, all try to do something about it and they are in conflict. What we have to attempt to do is restore some kind of balance, but the body tends to strongly resist 'outside assistance', as it were; at best it responds extremely slowly."

"And that will…?" Lane let the query hang in the air.

The doctor looked grave. "As I hope the ER nurse informed you, the longer it takes to calm the body systems the more likely it is that permanent damage will be caused. This could range from Rory having to receive hormone therapy for the rest of her life, to her hormones being so irreparably confused that she can't ever have a normal menstrual cycle and become pregnant, to brain damage of many types…

"Sorry, mate, I know you're busy and we said only one more question, but…" Finn began.

"No, go on, this is my job and I'm here to help you," the doctor encouraged calmly.

Finn swallowed. "Could she die?"

——————————

i "Highly improbable, but I must tell you there is a chance, even if it's a very slight one," /i the words ran through Finn's mind. i A very slight chance, mate. Just a very small one. She won't die. She won't. But… he said… a vegetable… /i Finn swore and kicked the machine that was supposed to be dispensing an energy drink for him. It refused to release the product. i It's like a bloody newspaper article… 'Young Woman, Well-Liked, Headed for Great Things, Brutally Raped and Murdered'… no better than murder by a knife. I should know. /i b (AN: /b Finn did not kill anyone. You'll find out what he means later.) He banged his fist on the side of the vending machine and the bottle finally fell.

He grabbed it, twisted off the cap, and took a long drink. i Why am I drinking this crap? Why don't I go get a bottle of vodka? /i he wondered.

"You know why," Finn mumbled to himself. "You know you don't want to be drunk when she wakes up. You know you would fall apart even more if you were drunk. Then Lorelai and Lane would hate you and Rory would feel you'd failed her and she'd never want to see you again."

The Australian's mind wandered to the first time he'd really failed someone.

——————————

The three women sat in the waiting room, silent. Each dozed off and on, but none could fully rest. They lived the experience of which they'd read in books, starting every time they heard a new noise and looking up whenever anyone walked into the room, hoping there would be news for them. It had been half after midnight when they arrived; they'd spoken to the doctor at two; half after three Finn had gone to get his drink.

At quarter to five, Lane spoke. "Um, didn't Finn leave a really long time ago?" she said groggily.

"I don't know; when was it?" Lorelai responded slowly.

"I think it was about three-thirty."

Stephanie half-jumped in her seat and cursed. "I didn't realize it had been that long. I have to look for him." She slid her feet back into the ballet flats she'd grabbed from Lorelai's closet and stood up, swaying a bit. "I'm so fricking tired…" she muttered as she walked up to the desk.

"Excuse me, but where's the nearest vending machine?" she asked the receptionist.

"Down that hallway, take the first right and then the second left."

"Thanks," the blonde said and headed in the direction of Finn.

——————————

Stephanie called to him when she saw him slumped on a bench across from the machine. "Finn! Where have you been?"

He lifted his head and turned it to look at her, and then let it fall back against the wall.

Steph swore mildly at him. "Finn, apathy is not allowed at this stage of the game."

The Aussie let out a short, humorless laugh. "Doll, I am suffering from anything but apathy."

"Oh really? Sure, you've taken care of Rory, but everything else I've seen seems to point absolutely to not-caring. You care about Reporter Girl, but you refuse to let it show in anything other than your direct interaction with her! You don't let it show in how you treat other people or how you think about your life—loving people is supposed to affect these things!"

"Love? You assume a lot of things, kitten," Finn said sharply.

"Loving anybody, idiot. Maybe you only love Rory like you love me, though I doubt it, but even so, loving us and loving Larry and Curly and loving your family, loving Carolyn and Melanie for Pete's sake, is supposed to make you care about things!" Stephanie ranted.

"Oh really, love? Then why don't you? I would expect it particularly of you, doll, considering the strength of your affections for the aforementioned Curly. By the way, why do I have to be Moe?"

"Because the other two have names that start with L and C, moron." Stephanie rolled her eyes. "I care… I do care about things. I let it show when I'm talking to all of you and I may be the female equivalent of you, but I have never retreated as far as you have—my life is just the way I am; with you it's a calculated maneuver to avoid pain." She looked at him directly. "And if it will inspire you to do anything constructive, I will go ask Colin out as soon as this situation is cleared up." He looked at her with raised eyebrows. "I will," she promised. "Oh, and by constructive I mean A) going back into that waiting room and getting whatever news comes, like the rest of us, and B) calling Logan and telling him to get his cocky self over here, because I know you want to."

——————————

Rory's doctor was just coming in as Stephanie and Finn returned. The two women who'd been waiting sat up straight, as if bracing themselves.

He waited for the two friends to come and quickly sit down before he spoke. "We have made i some /i progress. The brain has recommenced involvement to a very limited degree. She's still comatose, however, and it gets very difficult from here because we are beginning to add more chemicals to her system—it's hard to know exactly what balance of things she needs, and if we make a misstep at this point the prognosis is not very positive. If the hormones shift too much, too quickly, she will regress and it will be nearly impossible the second time around. Still, she's young and strong and the i most /i likely scenario is that we'll be able to equalize things and bring her out of it with limited damage, but I don't want you to think that there is no danger."

All four sighed a bit in limited relief. "Thank you again, so much, doctor," Lorelai said. He nodded and walked out.

"That sounds better," Lane ventured.

"Definitely," Lorelai replied, though biting her lip anxiously. "I wish we could see her…" she trailed off.

"Are you going to call anyone? Richard and Emily?" asked Lane hesitantly.

Lorelai moaned quietly. "I really should. I should, but I don't want to. I don't want them here…"

Stephanie said sympathetically, "I know how you feel. But they'd want to be here. Hey, you can wait a couple of hours, though… they wouldn't be awake at this hour and there's nothing for them to do yet."

"I'll do that. I'll call them at seven-thirty or something…" Lorelai said softly.

——————————

After half an hour of quietness, with snatches of sleep and several pointed looks from Stephanie, Finn sat up in his chair. "Excuse me, loves, but I have to make a phone call. I'll be back shortly."

"Finally; I feel like a Star Wars geek camping out for Episode I after already waiting a quarter of a century…" Stephanie grumbled.

He snorted shortly and went out. It was hospital policy that one couldn't use cell phones in most of the building; they interfered with some components of machines, so Finn had to head outside. It was almost completely dark; only a few very faint touches of light in the east harbingered the coming dawn.

Finn sat down on a wooden bench for a moment. "Come on, mate, this is what you need to do. You i want /i to do it, and you know it. Dial the number," he instructed himself, and punched the buttons on his phone.

——————————

Lorelai fidgeted nervously in her vinyl-upholstered chair. "I wish they would let us see her…" she softly remarked to no one.

"I know. I do too," Lane murmured, crossing her arms tightly.

"I have to see her to know she's… okay, more or less," Lorelai said. "Must be something about being a mother… it's why you don't let your kid outside where you can't see them until you feel like you have to because they're so old… why you hate it when they go away to camp or a sleepover, or college… You don't really i know /i they're still there unless you can see them and touch their hands and kiss their cheeks and hug them, at least once in awhile…" Lorelai began to cry. "Seriously… this has to stop. Way too many tears of Lorelais being shed lately…"

Stephanie came over and sat to her right and put an arm around her. Lane hugged her from her seat on the left. "She's okay, Lorelai. Right now, she's okay. That's what we have, and we'll hold onto it," Lane said softly, blinking back tears.

——————————

"You've reached Logan Huntzberger's cell phone. I can't answer right now, but if you leave a message I'll get back to you ASAP. Thanks."

Finn sighed. "Mate, I need to talk to you. Rory… is sick. Bad. You need to be here. Screw your old man; your girlfriend needs you to be with her. Call me."

He snapped his phone shut, frustrated. i Do I have his work number? /i He went through the contacts in his phone, found he didn't, and cursed vehemently. i Wait. Think, mate. There's b something /b … Honor's cell! Didn't he give it to you once for some reason? He was going to be with her and hers got better reception in some remote place or something… that's right. No, mate, you can't call her at half five in the bleeding morning! She'll think you're out of your head! No, not Honor; she'll understand. Fine. Try her. /i 

Once again he flipped through his contacts, and called Logan's sister.

——————————

She hadn't been happy to get a call at such "an ungodly hour", but grudgingly gave him the number of the London office of Huntzberger Media.

"Thanks, doll. I owe you forever," he said.

" i Yeah /i you do… Bye, lunatic," she said and hung up.

Immediately he dialed the number.

"Logan Huntzberger's office line, please," he said politely to the receptionist who answered.

"Certainly."

"Thanks, love," he said, and waited for a few moments.

"Logan Huntzberger speaking."

Finn exhaled. "Thank God! Why don't you answer your bloody cell?"

"My father was in; we were talking to the owner of a magazine we want to buy. He just left. What do you want?" Logan said, ruffled.

"Look, mate. I know your father is the boogeyman and you'll never get a job and you'll be a bum your entire life, but you need to 'get your cocky self over here', as Steph said so eloquently."

"What the… i why /i ?"

"It's Rory. She's sick."

"Well, tell her I said she should eat more fruits and vegetables, and to take an aspirin and a nap and call me. I'm in London, Finn. It's a bit difficult to just hop on over to visit an invalid."

Finn snorted. "Plenty of men would 'hop on over' from London when their girlfriend has a life-threatening condition, and they don't own private jets."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa— i life-threatening /i ?" the blond said, confused.

" i Yes, /i mate. She's had a bad reaction to the emergency birth control she took. Comatose. Possibility of—brain damage, or… death," Finn managed to say.

Logan tightened his grip on his phone. "Finn, I… I want to be there. I want to come. But my life… You don't understand. My life is insane. My father is insane. Ace… will be okay."

"Idiot! She might i not /i be! I'm not joking around, mate. You need to come home. Screw your dad! I'm going to walk to the library, get online, and book you on the next flight from Heathrow to Hartford. If you don't print that e-ticket and get on that plane you'll be in it deep," Finn said harshly.

"Finn!" Logan almost shouted, alarmed. "Finn, I can't do that. What… I can't."

"You can, Huntz, and you will. If you can't grow the balls to do it yourself I'll fly over there and drag you. I'd rather die than see someone break her heart again. I'm going to book your flight now. G'bye, mate." He hung up.

i Steph- at library booking LH ticket, call/text me w/ news -Finn i he texted to Stephanie and headed out in the dark.

b AN: /b Broke 50 pages! Yay:-D So, how about a review for every lovely page I've given you? Eh, eh:-P Thanks for reading!


	9. InBetween Time, Waiting Time

In-Between Time, Waiting Time

b AN: /b Sorry for the delay in updating… I'll try to be better! And… I broke my promise about Logan—I know, I'm horrible—but I'm going to write the next chapter tonight, and he will be in it. Anyway, this is a long one, so beware—but enjoy, and thanks for reading and reviewing!

b Disclaimer: /b I don't own anything; Christmas has left me very near broke.

"How can a i library /i not open until ten o'clock?" Finn moaned. i It's not a 24-hour drugstore, mate. Nobody goes to get books at six in the morning… Just call Mitchum's office and have the jet sent over! No… Huntz senior would not be a fan of that action… Let's see; where can I go, where can I go?! /i 

He thought hard for a few moments, but his entirely exhausted brain was moving slowly. i Bloody… oy; I'm not meant to do /i anything i at this ungodly hour, much less think creatively! /i The Australian raised his eyes, looking around the city, frantically searching his mind for ideas.

"The Goodwin!" he suddenly almost shouted. "Thank God… Rothschild, you i are /i a smart one," he congratulated himself and began heading for the hotel.

——————————

Stephanie's phone buzzed in her purse. "Oh, man…" she murmured when she saw who had sent the text. "Good boy, Finn. Hold on… the library?! What is he thinking?"

Lorelai turned her head to look at the blonde. "Wait, Finn's going to the library? What's going on?"

"Finn, idiot… it won't be open!" said Stephanie. "Who goes to get books at quarter to six in the morning?!"

Lane shot her a look behind Lorelai's head. "What?!" mouthed the blonde.

Lorelai buried her face in her hands. "This one time when Rory was nine… Andrew was trying to get out of a sales slump, and he… he decided to have a big sale, a twelve-hour thing… and Rory made me wake up at five so that we could be there when he opened the door at six… I was _so_ mad at her; God, was I mad! But I did it anyway…" she was now crying so hard that she couldn't talk anymore.

"Ah…" Stephanie sighed. "I'm so sorry, Lorelai… Rory'll be okay. It'll be all right."

Lane put her arms around the older woman, holding her tightly. "Steph, will you get her some coffee?"

"Of course. Back in a flash." The girl picked up her purse and walked quickly out of the waiting room.

——————————

"Sir, computer use is for the guests only."

Finn sighed, highly exasperated. "Look, I won't be any trouble. I need about three minutes on the computer, and then I'll be out of your way. What if I were to promise to be absolutely quiet and not make a sound, and not disturb any guests, and make no noise at all?"

"I'm sorry, sir; I can't do that."

"I really think you're being unreasonable about this. I'm willing to pay, a good deal more than it's worth to me probably, and you can come with me and make sure I'm not doing anything naughty if you like."

The concierge drummed his fingers on the polished surface of his desk. "Well…"

"Aha! We've established my proposal is sound in principle; now we're just haggling over price," muttered Finn. This only earned him a confused look. With another sigh, he pulled his wallet out of his pocket and handed the man a few bills of fairly large denomination.

"Thank you, sir. Right this way."

"Apparently Diddy and Weird Al were both right," mused the young man.

Another confused look.

"Benjamins, and Pentiums?" Fin tried to clarify. "Never mind. Lead on."

——————————

i Booked. 3 PM, Am. Airlines. Pack quick. /i Finn was in no mood for an actual conversation with Logan; at this point he couldn't care less about the cost of texting.

"There's got to be i someplace /i where I could get something good to read," he said to himself. "AH! The airport! You i are /i brilliant; I knew it all along!"

Finn ran to the corner and looked around for a taxi. After what seemed hours one came along and he hailed it enthusiastically.

"Airport," he said curtly to the driver.

When they arrived, he told the man to wait and ran inside to find a newsstand or some small shop that would be open before seven in the morning. After about ten minutes, he emerged and got back in the taxi with a ridiculously large 'box of coffee', several cups, and a bag of books from one of the shops that sold reading matter to forgetful travelers.

"Clearly there are very few people around here who don't mind using their i brains /i when reading," Finn grumbled as he slammed the door.

"Sir?" the driver said, bemused.

"Sorry; it's just—I was looking for books and it was difficult to find anything that wasn't complete crap. Anyway, carry on."

"Do you have a destination in mind, sir, or should I just drive around aimlessly?" said the driver, his eyes twinkling in the rearview mirror.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry again; Hartford Hospital, please," Finn said, his throat tightening.

"Right away, sir."

——————————

"Oh thank God, that must be better than hospital cafeteria coffee," said a familiar voice behind Finn as he walked down the hall to the waiting room.

He turned quickly, confused. "Oh, it's you. Yes, I'm sure it is, doll," he said flatly.

Stephanie tossed the full cups she'd been carrying. "Good work." She linked her arm in his. "So… what's in the bag?"

"Books."

"What? Where'd you get them at this hour? For whom?"

"Airport's open. For Rory."

"Jeez, stop talking so much. You're hurting my ears."

Finn gave her a wry smile. "Well, we're in a hospital, so if the pain gets too bad I'm sure someone will find you something. A little morphine, maybe? Vicodin? Percocet? What's your poison?"

"What's the strongest you've got?" she said sardonically.

"Ah ha. I knew it. Just add a hundred pounds and some wrinkles, and subtract a lot of that hair, and you're Rush Limbaugh."

"Excellent." Stephanie laughed for a moment, then sobered. "Let's get this to Lorelai. She's having a meltdown."

Finn looked grim. "I'm surprised she's made it this long." They walked in silence for a minute or two, then he asked hesitantly, "Any news of Rory love?"

"Not when I was last in there," Stephanie replied with sad eyes. "Nobody really knows exactly what's going on."

A heavy sigh escaped Finn; he rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Well, let's go see what the deal is, shall we, kitten?"

"I hope that coffee's still hot."

"Of course it is." Arm in arm, they walked toward the waiting room together.

——————————

Lorelai sat, wrapped in Lane's arms and shuddering with sobs. "This is not supposed to happen to a girl like Rory… nobody's supposed to touch her! You can't i do /i that to a beautiful girl; she doesn't deserve it and it's wrong and it's horrible!" She drew in a harsh breath. "First her boyfriend has to move thousands of miles away, then she gets i raped /i , and now i this! /i I can't… I can't deal with it. It's i not okay /i . It's not okay with me. It has to stop… it has to stop… please…"

"Lorelai, sshhhh. It'll come out okay. It'll be all right, Lorelai; just try to breathe." Lane continued trying to soothe the older woman, tears running down her own cheeks.

Without saying anything, Finn poured a cup of coffee, a thick, steaming stream. Gently, he opened Lorelai's clenched fingers and put the warm cardboard between her hands, the scent and steam rising.

Her shaken brain didn't seem, for a few moments, to register the feeling of the cup in her hands or the smell that wafted into her nose. Then, she managed to breathe calmly for a moment and stop her violent weeping, and she raised the cup and took a long drink. Heaving a deep and quavering sigh, she wiped her reddened eyes, took another gulp, and said in a very small voice, "Thanks, Finn."

He nodded. "It'll come good in the end, Lorelai." He sat down on one of the hard chairs in the row, Stephanie beside him, and took a long breath. "Who else wants some coffee?" He indicated the container and the cups at his feet.

"Yes, i please /i ," said Lane.

Stephanie poured a cup for her and one for herself. "Genius idea, the big box, Finn. You want some, I assume?"

"Is the Pope a Catholic?" he mumbled and accepted the dark fluid.

——————————

Four heads suddenly snapped up as a tall nurse walked into the room. "Ms. Gilmore?"

"That's me. What—what do… how is my daughter?" Lorelai asked frenziedly.

"Miss Gilmore is currently in stable condition. She's still comatose, but doing better—her pulse has slowed to a normal rate, and she can breathe independently now. If she were conscious, she'd be in a tremendous amount of pain, but her chances of making a full recovery are fairly high. It'll be a long haul, but we think it'll turn out all right."

Lorelai bit her lips, trying not to cry or scream; her luminous eyes overflowed. "I… thank… damnit—Finn?" she tried to speak, and then gave up.

"Thank you, so so much. I can't say how grateful we are, ma'am," Finn said, his voice unsteady.

"I have to warn you that this could still have some serious effects. Her stabilization has happened quickly enough that we can rule out brain or heart damage, but her endocrine system and reproductive organs have undergone extreme trauma and it's too soon to know whether she'll come out unscathed."

"We understand, ma'am. Thank you," said Lorelai, having managed to collect herself. "But—when can we see her?" she said faintly.

"I'm to tell you that if you wish to go in now, you may. As I said, she hasn't regained consciousness, but she's stable and for now the doctors don't need to do anything more."

Lorelai stood up immediately, poured herself another cup of coffee, and inquired, "Where is her room, please?"

"Down that hallway, take the first right and the second left, then it's the fourth door on your right. Number five-twelve."

"First right, second left, 512 on the right," Lorelai repeated. Thank you so much, so, i so /i much." All four hurried off.

——————————

Lorelai went in first for some time, pleading with the others to stay outside. Lane went in with her after a short nap on one of the benches in the hallway, and about twenty minutes after that Finn and Stephanie ventured into the small room.

Finn stepped in and suddenly stopped short. He felt an incredible sensation of weight in his chest—a tightening around his heart—and his vision seemed to blur. He reached for the wall to steady himself.

"You okay?" Stephanie whispered, concerned.

He swallowed, with difficulty, and nodded. "Fine, love, fine." Slowly he moved toward the side of the bed. Lorelai and Lane had already stationed themselves in chairs near it, on the side away from the door.

The brunet pulled up another two chairs, indicated that Stephanie should sit, and sat heavily in the other himself. He took a long drink of coffee and set the cup down, then laid his strong brown hand on Rory's thin pale one. He marveled at the number of machines to which she was apparently connected, and once again felt a surge of rage against the men who had begun this situation—the ones who had raped her, and the one who had not insisted on walking home with her that night.

——————————

Everyone had calmed down somewhat. All four felt better being able to see Rory and know that she was all right, and all had been able to sleep for at least a short time. Besides that, there was the coffee.

Suddenly Lorelai stood up. She cursed under her breath, with frightening intensity.

"What? What's wrong?" Lane cried, startled. Lorelai picked up her purse and started rummaging in it.

"Lorelai? Lorelai, what is it?" said Stephanie urgently.

Lorelai swore again, louder. "She's going to kill me…"

"You've i got /i to tell us what's wrong," said Lane, putting a hand on Lorelai's arm in an attempt to catch her focus.

"On second thought, death would be too easy—it'd be slow and agonizing torture for her, oh yes—Humperdinck, Rugin, and the albino have nothing on Emily Gilmore when it comes to torture…" muttered the brunette.

"And Westley is no match for you when it comes to enduring pain alone, but seriously, Lorelai—tell us i something /i ," Lane insisted, but relieved—the situation couldn't be too dire if Lorelai was joking around.

"My parents… I didn't call them… They didn't even know when… i it /i happened in the first place, and now it's been forever since we got here, and almost two hours since we were able to see her…" she cursed. "It's nine o'clock and I haven't told them yet... Ah HA!" she said triumphantly, pulling her cell phone out of her purse.

"Um, Lorelai… sorry, but you're not allowed to use cell phones in here…" said Stephanie apologetically.

"Figures…" muttered Lorelai. She cast an anguished look at the quiet Rory, then said with a sigh, "I'd rather not leave her, but duty calls…"

"We'll be here," Stephanie said reassuringly. "She'll be fine."

"Plus we have big strong Finn to protect us," said Lane with a smile.

The Australian took his cue. "You shall not pass!" he said dramatically.

"Thanks, Gandalf," said Lorelai and rolled her eyes. But her smile broke through, and her spirits were lifted. She went out the door and hurried to the elevator and out of the hospital.

"You know what, I need to call my boyfriend and tell him where I am… crap," said Lane when Lorelai was gone. "I'll be back."

"And I should call Rose so she doesn't freak out—not that she would even have noticed yet…" said Steph. "And i you /i should let Colin know where you are, because i he /i will have noticed by this time."

Finn rolled his eyes. "Steph, sweet, I'm sure Colin is far more freaked out about you than he is about me."

Stephanie sighed. "Whatever… either way, you should call him."

"You do it. We shouldn't leave her alone."

"Fine, fine. Back in a flash." She picked up her purse and went out.

——————————

"Hello?"

"Hi, Mom… it's Lorelai."

"Hello, Lorelai."

"Didn't you already say that?" Lorelai said, stalling.

She heard her mother's sigh. "Lorelai, what do you need?"

Lorelai took a deep breath. "I need you to be absolutely silent right now until I tell you you can talk."

"What? Lorelai, what is this?" Emily said indignantly.

"Absolutely i silent /i , Mom, or I'm hanging up right now."

"Fine, I'll be quiet."

"Thank you." Lorelai breathed deeply again. "Mom, something happened to Rory the night before last. She was… raped—by some Yale guys, while she was on her way home from a night out with her friends. Absolutely silent means i no talking /i , Mother," she said forcefully as she heard Emily take a quick breath as if to sleep. "They raped her, and threw her out; her friend Finn had to come and get her, and he brought her home and took care of her. We went to the doctor yesterday, and she doesn't have any STDs but there was a high chance of her getting pregnant so they prescribed emergency contraception. She took it, and she's had a very very bad reaction to it. It was horrible; we had to bring her here to the hospital very late last night and she was very bad for some hours but they say she'll be okay now, but she's still unconscious and in a lot of pain. However, I know that I should have called you, and I know you'll want to come see her, but it has been a very rough forty-eight hours for me and for Rory. We're at Hartford Hospital; come if you want, but she is still very sick so just… be tactful, please." Lorelai paused, then forged ahead. "Okay, you can talk now—but I swear to God, if you say i anything /i that even i remotely /i resembles criticism, or anger at me or Rory, or 'I told you so', I will i never /i speak to you again."

"We'll be right over," Emily said coldly.

"Thank you. I'll see you in a few minutes," Lorelai said and snapped her phone shut.


	10. A Connecticut Yankee Visits

A Connecticut Yankee Visits from Queen Elizabeth's Court

b AN: /b Well, here it is. I like this chapter better than the last one, I think, even if it is sentimental (there will be plenty of drama and humor and non-uber-sappy romance to balance it out, at least eventually.) Logan appears—but I promise if you're a diehard Rogan fan you won't like him… there are other fics (including one by me!) for that, not to mention the show itself. Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing! (If all the lurking lurkers would review, I could die happy…) b Note— /b I've posted two chapters in rather quick succession, so read chapter nine first (although it's not super-important, you might miss i something /i , and I think it's rather interesting…)

b Disclaimer: /b I know, I know, I'm a really talented writer… but I'm not Mark Twain, and I'm not the creator of Gilmore Girls. I don't own GG or i Connecticut Yankee /i or anything else that I happen to mention in my flights of fancy.

"It was in Warwick Castle that I came across the curious stranger whom I am going to talk about," began Finn. "He attracted me by three things: his candid simplicity, his marvelous familiarity with ancient armor, and the restfulness of his company—for he did all the talking." i I hope I'm being restful right now, /i he thought. i Thank God the traveling public can handle Mark Twain. /i He went on reading in his marvelous voice, smoothly and eloquently…

"'Bridgeport?' said, I, pointing.

"'Camelot,' said he.

"My stranger had been showing signs of sleepi—" Suddenly Finn was cut off by Rory's voice.

"He caught himself nodding, now, and smiled one of those pathetic, obsolete smiles of his…" she murmured weakly, but her voice dissolved into a moan.

"Morning, pet," said Finn breathlessly. He took her hand. "What do you need?"

Rory struggled to open her eyes and sit up.

"Rory, love, don't. If you don't want to talk or move or anything it's just fine, sweet," he said quietly.

"Where… is my mom?" she asked with apparent effort.

"She went to call your grandparents. Steph and Lane are calling other people—Colin and Rosemary and Lane's boyfriend and such—just to make sure no one's putting ads on milk cartons."

The girl nodded slightly, then a pained look contorted her features. "Finn… what… happened? The pain… it's clear that… I… i need /i to… be here, but…"

Finn sighed. "Pet, do you remember that you were—" He couldn't say it. "Do you remember the guys, night before last, on your way home from the pub?" She winced and nodded. "I know you don't want to think about it, kitten; I'm sorry. Well, then you went to the doctor, right, and you took emergency birth control—and apparently you are one of the very few people who has a bad reaction to synthetic hormones."

Rory looked stricken. "So… what does that… mean, exactly?" she whispered.

"We don't have to talk about that right now, sweet. You'll be okay. The doctors say you've come out of it quick enough that the effects won't be very bad." He smiled wryly. "It's ridiculous that it would be you who would have that… I always knew you were one in a million, love, but this is just too much."

"My… most abject… apologies, Finn.," she said dryly.

"Don't worry about it, doll," he said with a half-grin. "I'll keep reading… 'I find I can't go on; but come with me, I've got it all written out, and you can read it if you like…'"

——————————

"Lorelai, what is the meaning of this?!" Richard fumed as he and Emily walked through the front doors of the hospital.

"Come here and sit down first," Lorelai said, her voice deadly calm. They went in and sat on a pair of benches just inside.

"Will you please explain?" her father said, in the flat, cold, yet-somehow-clearly-enraged tone Lorelai knew so well. Emily simply looked daggers at her daughter.

Lorelai closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. "Rory was raped on her way home from a night out with friends, two nights ago. She doesn't have any STDs," she briefly reiterated for her father, "but there was a high likelihood that she would get pregnant, so we got her emergency contraception. Apparently she's the one girl in thousands that has an adverse reaction to the hormones, and she got very sick. The hormonal freak-out made her body nearly shut down, and she went into a coma, and it was all very bad. But she's doing better now; she's stable and the doctors think there won't be any permanent damage… except maybe to her endocrine and reproductive systems," she ended in a rush. There was a moment of awkward silence.

"How could you wait so long to call us?" Emily exploded. "We i are /i her grandparents, and we live four miles from here, you know! How could you possibly be so thoughtless?"

Tears came to Lorelai's bright blue eyes. "Mom…" she said unsteadily. "Mom and Dad…" She took a short breath, frustrated. i Am I really going to do this? I suppose it's once more unto the breach, dear friends, and no hope for it… /i "I know that I screwed up and I should have called you earlier. I know that you are angry, that you had a right to know about this. I know that you care about Rory; I know that you want to know that she is okay. I know I was wrong, and you are good people. I know all that.

"But what I want you to know is this: that I do not hate you. That I was not not-calling you on purpose to hurt you. Please understand that… I care about you. You are my parents—and I love you." Lorelai was crying again now. Richard and Emily looked absolutely shell-shocked. "Mom and Dad, I love you… God, this is the corniest thing in the world; it's like something from a Disney movie sequel… but I have to go through with it, don't I?" she rambled. "I love you, but this thing with Rory scared me nine-tenths to death and I wasn't thinking clearly. I make mistakes all the time—what can I say, I'm me—and this was one of them, perhaps not as bad as getting knocked up at sixteen but definitely worse than kissing Michael Davies in seventh grade (and let me tell you, that was pretty bad) but I don't want you to hate me for it. I swear, if you make a scene over this and get all angry and cold and Miranda Priestly-ish it will kill Rory and me both. So please, please, please just at least pretend to forgive me and be… kind, just for now, at least… please?" she finished, more tears making tracks down her already stained cheeks.

"All right, Lorelai. All right," said Richard quietly, with unexpected but unmistakable solicitude. Gingerly he patted her hand, and she squeezed his gratefully.

She turned to her mother, steeling herself.

"Here," said Emily with trembling voice, and handed Lorelai a tissue from her purse. "You never seem to have one when you need one." She tried to set her lips firmly, but her eyes were soft and glimmering.

Lorelai took it and wiped her eyes. She smiled at her mother, knowing. "Thanks."

"Now where's my granddaughter?" said Richard briskly.

——————————

Finn dog-eared the page he'd been reading and put the book back in the bag as soon as the door opened. "Finally," he said to Stephanie.

"Colin says hi and don't do anything stupid," the blonde said shortly. "Rosemary says to tell you she was happy to have last night, one night without you hitting on her." Then she looked at Rory and saw that her eyes were open. "Oh, hon…" she mumbled and sat back down in her chair next to Finn's.

"Hey Steph…" Rory greeted her weakly.

"You need anything? Was Finn nice?"

"He… read to me…" she said with a slight, somehow sly smile.

"The big softie," Stephanie laughed lightly. "I'd offer you coffee, but your doctor probably wouldn't be too happy."

"I'll have some though," said Lane as she entered. "Sorry, Rory… don't mean to rub it in…" She went over to the bed and took her friend's hand. "Are you… doing okay? Okay-ish? Not going to kick the bucket in the next five minutes?"

"I hurt… so, so much… my head, my chest… my stomach… my brain—can't think… I never knew… anything… could be… this… i painful /i , even the hangover… after… the first… time I drank with… him," she said in a small voice, indicating the Australian.

"I'm so sorry, Ror… but you'll be okay. You'll be all right," Lane tried to console her.

"As Martina McBride said—" Finn started.

Lane held up a hand as if stopping traffic. "Don't. Don't even go there. Honestly."

Finn went on, unconcerned. "You'll get through this, no matter what it takes!"

"I don't think I can be in the same room as you anymore," said Lane despairingly.

"Oh, come now, doll, you know you love it," Finn teased.

Lane held out her fingers in a cross, with a look of horror on her face. This managed to coax a small smile to Rory's face, and the morale in the room was considerably higher.

"You are… the best friends ever… plus Mom…" Rory said, tearing up. Then she bit her lip and the tears spilled over. She closed her eyes, seeming to shut herself off.

Stephanie looked at Finn keenly, and nodded once.

"Rory, pet," he said evenly, "Logan is coming this evening—well, late afternoon."

Her eyes opened slowly. "Really?" she asked, hope struggling with skepticism in her voice.

"Really," Stephanie confirmed. "Now you just rest for awhile. I'll let your doctor know you're awake… we probably should have done that."

"I did, love," said Finn.

"When?" she said incredulously.

"Between the Word of Explanation and chapter one. I couldn't just leave the explanation without finishing it, but I went after. He said he'd look in on her in an hour or so, but to tell him if anything odd happens before then."

"How responsible of you," Stephanie said, amazed.

Finn rolled his eyes. Then he took out the book again and began reading, hoping he could take Rory's mind off the pain for a little while.

——————————

He had only been reading for a minute when Lorelai and her parents came in. Again he saved the page and put the book back, then stood up swiftly. "Please, sit down, Mrs. Gilmore," he said charmingly.

"Why, thank you," she said, startled to see this slightly familiar young man reading to her granddaughter. Catching Lorelai's eye, she arched an eyebrow; Lorelai mouthed "A friend."

"Why, Finnegan Rothschild! Good to see you, son," said Richard, also surprised.

Finn took the proffered hand. "Good to see you as well, Mr. Gilmore, though more favorable circumstances would have been appreciated of course," he said with gentle tact drawing the attention to Rory.

"Rory… dear, I'm so sorry. Are you—going to be all right? Do you need anything? Are you comfortable?" Emily said, unusually tenderly.

Rory's eyes were bright. "I'll be… all right, Grandma. Thank you. Hi… Grandpa."

"Oh, Rory…" Richard sighed, and patted her hand just as he had Lorelai's.

——————————

It was a lot of people to have in one small hospital room at once, but they managed it for several more hours. The doctor looked in, checked up, took notes every so often, and of course there were visits from nurses, but put plainly, they just sat together. Finn read to Rory, and everyone—except perhaps himself and Rory—noted the concern evident in his manner. Stephanie and Lane talked comfortably about memories. Emily was always ready to do something for the invalid, and Richard told amusing stories about his travels. Lorelai simply held Rory's hand for the duration. Sometimes some of them slept. Sometimes they were all only quiet.

——————————

"Miss Gilmore, a Logan Huntzberger is asking for you. Shall we let him come in?" said a nurse, poking her head around the door late that afternoon. "Of course, it might be an issue with the fire department…" she said, chuckling once she had observed the tight squeeze in the room.

"We can fix that," said Lorelai quickly. All the visitors took their cue and went out quietly.

"To… answer your… question," Rory said with a wan smile, "yes, send… him in, please."

"All right. And you don't need anything, now, do you?" said the nurse.

Rory shook her head, but barely. The nurse went out, but Logan immediately entered the now-almost empty space.

"Ace…" he said, a deer-in-headlights look flickering once, quickly, in his eyes and then disappearing under concern. He went over to her. "Should I take a chair, or can I safely sit on the edge of this contraption?" he said, motioning to the bed with its rails and buttons and hookups.

Rory's expression reminded one of a little princess girl looking for a Prince Charming to save her, at that moment. "Bed's… fine," she breathed. Timidly, she reached for him. He twined his fingers in hers.

"Oh, Ace…" he said quietly. "I'm so, so sorry. I feel horrible… I'm sorry."

"Shhh," she whispered. "Just… hold on. Hold… on to me, please." She grasped his hand feebly, hoping for comfort in his strength.

He took both her hands and held them tightly. "I'm holding."

Rory took a deep breath and let it out slowly. i Everything has to be all right now, doesn't it? /i she thought.

They sat for a moment, and then Logan's BlackBerry vibrated. He disentangled his right hand and took the device from its holder, scrolled quickly, and began typing. His message completely absorbed him and his hold on Rory's other hand loosened.

"Logan?" Rory said softly. He said nothing. "Logan…" she repeated.

"Sorry, Ace…" he mumbled and continued typing for a moment. "There." He pressed a button, replaced the gadget and took her hand again. "I'm sorry, it's just… I'm a work dork; I can't exactly leave everything totally behind."

Rory clenched her jaw for a second, then said calmly, "I understand… If you… need… you know, to… go out and make a call… it's… okay, I guess… you're not… supposed to use that… in here, though… I don't think… computers in the… machines, and whatnot…"

"I don't think I'll have to, but thanks for the permission slip," Logan said lightly. "Now, I'm holding onto you, and there's nowhere I'd rather be… I'm so sorry I wasn't here sooner…" he trailed off.

Rory sighed. "It's all right… just… that you're here now… is good." She blinked, then closed her eyes altogether. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he murmured back. She tried not to notice its mechanical, automatic tone.

——————————

After a time, the rest of the group came back in, to find Rory apparently sleeping and Logan scrolling through messages on his BlackBerry.

"I don't think you're supposed to have that in here, mate," Finn said coolly when he saw him.

"Oh, relax, Finn; it's fine," Logan said, looking up with a smile. "Richard, Emily, how are you?" he asked quietly, standing to greet them and allow Emily to take his chair. "Hey, Steph. Hello, Lorelai." He paused at Lane. "You're… Lane, right? Nice to see you," he said in hushed tones. Lane smiled politely and nodded back.

"Really, we should be going, if everything is all right and you don't need us. We're to have some friends for dinner, and though we wouldn't mind staying if you say we should, Lorelai, I think it would be best if we went home," Richard stated, but sounding ready to defer to Lorelai's opinion.

"I think it's all right if you go; we'll keep in touch with you, let you know how she is." Lorelai went to her parents and, somewhat timid but determined, hugged them gently. "Thank you for coming, and for not hating me," she whispered, trying not to cry.

"Lorelai—" Emily began hesitantly.

"What, Mom?"

"Do you have a place to go tonight? I hardly think you want to sleep in one of these ridiculous chairs, or that they'll just send in a rollaway."

Lorelai crossed her arms. i I didn't think of that… /i she thought. "No," she admitted. "No, I don't have anywhere."

Emily looked at her, expressionless.

She sighed. "You're going to make me ask? Okay, Mom. Could I come to your house tonight? I need a place to sleep."

Her mother smiled brightly, genuinely. "Certainly, Lorelai. Of course you can come sleep at our house. One of us can come over to pick you up after our dinner, if you like, or we can pay for a cab."

"That'll be fine, Mom. I'll call you later."

"Goodbye, Lorelai."

"Goodbye, Mom. Bye, Dad."

"Goodbye, Lorelai."

——————————

Lorelai had gone to the restroom and Stephanie and Lane were getting food in the cafeteria. Finn sat on side of the bed, Logan on the other. Rory lay peacefully, breathing slow and even.

"So tell me, mate, why wouldn't you come?" Finn said abruptly. His voice was even and hard.

Logan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Look, Finn," he started. "This work at the London office is all-consuming. Being constructive, living up to expectations, running a business—it takes time and effort. I didn't have enough of either to make a trip across the ocean."

"Don't give me that. You're Logan fricking Huntzberger; you can take a day or two off if you want to. And don't start on your father with me," Finn said sharply, seeing that Logan was about to protest. "You should've considered that perhaps if you were a man about it and you talked to him and explained—not asked or begged or made excuses, but told him calmly—that you have to do this, he'd respect you more. He's an asshole, but even he would understand that you have a responsibility to Rory too and he'd let you uphold it if you went about it the right way, if it didn't screw up your work too much."

The blond looked at him levelly. "Like I said, I don't have a lot of time or effort to waste right now. It's hard work to try and make this work so I can get my father off my back, so I can eventually pull together a semblance of a life of my own."

"A life that's just yours, made with purely your time and effort spent on what you and only you want? A life without spending time on Rory, without her spending effort on you? Is that it? Because that's what you'll get, mate, if you go on this way."

Logan's eyes hardened. "You're reading too much into this. It's not that I didn't want to see her, or that I don't want her in my life. I'm just i busy /i right now!"

"Huntz, you're lying—to everyone involved. And you're doing a damn poor job of it, too," Finn said. "I'm going to get some dinner. Make sure to give my regards to your father in the next message you write on that fancy thing there." He went out the door, closing it softly so as not to disturb the girl napping in the bed.

——————————

i I wish I had been sleeping just now, /i Rory thought.

b AN: /b Good heavens, long long long… I've stayed up far too late, too, just to finish it. Oh well. Hope you liked it. If you did, let me know; if you didn't, definitely let me know! (Heads I win, tails you lose…)


	11. It Won't Be Enough

**AN: **Okay, here we go again. I am really, _really_, _**really**__**REALLY**_ sorry that I haven't updated, ever in the history of the universe... I know I am a horrible person and a horrible fanfic author; I suck at life; rest assured, I know. And also I'm sorry. But being an upperclassman has been insanely, insanely busy and even my entire summer was a whirlwind, so... I didn't have much time for non-school-related writing... I'm going to do my best to work through this and possibly wrap it up fairly soon, but no guarantees. Thanks very much to those who discovered the story and reviewed! That's always fun. Anyway, hope you enjoy. Also: be prepared to hate Logan even more. Also: there's definitely more language in this chapter... partly because it's a lot of Finn's feelings, and partly because I decided to make it that way. Just be warned.

**Disclaimer: **If I were in any way officially affiliated with the CW it would be far less annoying. If I were in any way officially affiliated with the Palladinos or Rosenthal, my life would be far less annoying. However, the CW and my life are both quite annoying, fairly often, ergo—no affiliation. I just write fanfic.

Rory opened her eyes in the middle of the night, hearing one of her machines beeping. By the scant glow of the lights on the equipment she could see Logan in a chair across the room, using his suit coat as an awkward pillow. She wanted to be amused and touched, but those feelings struggled with the ones instantly recalled by the memory of his earlier conversation with Finn. _Finn didn't mean it. He doesn't know us. He doesn't know how much Logan loves me_. But she lay awake for a long time, staring at the blond in the plastic-upholstered armchair.

——————————

In the very early morning, Rory awoke to the confusing sight of not Logan, but Finn in the chair against the wall. She blinked and winced—apparently consciousness meant pain. "Logan—" she tried to speak and stopped.

"He just went out to get coffee, love," Finn said, getting up and pulling the chair up next to the bed. "He'll be back soon. Go back to sleep." He took the hand that didn't have a needle in it and massaged it gently. "Go to sleep."

Rory sighed lightly and closed her eyes again, shifting her head ever so slightly on the pillow. "Read to me?" she said after a moment.

"Of course, pet." Finn retrieved the paperback from the bedside table and began reading, still massaging the frail hand that was tense with pain.

——————————

"Logan!" Rory came dangerously close to pulling out the IV line when she suddenly started thrashing about in her sleep. "Help—no—stop—" she mumbled, grimacing.

Logan—back some time ago from his coffee run—looked up from his BlackBerry, startled; Finn was already out the door. "Ace, it's okay; Ace, what's wrong?" he said softly, going over to her. "Ace, shhh," he tried to take her hand but she was moving violently. "Ace, I'm here, shhh." He looked helplessly around the room.

After a moment, Finn came in, his eyes flashing; behind him, decidedly calmer, was a nurse carrying a syringe. "You two, hold her still. _Gentle_," she scolded as the panicking young men gripped the girl's limbs. "There. It's all right." The nurse took Rory's wrist lightly in one hand, pressed a few buttons on the machine, separated the tube from the IV needle and then emptied the syringe into Rory's vein. "I just gave her a light sedative. Night terrors are to be expected in a situation like this," she said as she reconnected the machine and started the drip again. "She'll probably sleep for awhile longer. You two should go get some rest yourselves." The nurse closed the door behind her.

Logan sank down onto the bench that was against the wall near the door; Finn flopped into the armchair. He faced the blond, giving him a level stare. Logan tried to look unconcerned as he took out his BlackBerry and began typing again. Finn looked at Logan for a long moment as the blond ignored him.

"What the _fuck_ is wrong with you?!" he finally exploded. "Grow some balls, man."

——————————

Finn was just leaving, teeth clenched and fists balled, as Lorelai walked down the hall toward Rory's room.

"Finnegan!" she said with a slight smile. "What are you doing here? You should have gone home. Go back to school, go to class or... the pub, or whatever non-class activity you use as your excuse not to attend class. Sleep, actually. That would probably be better," she started to ramble, frightened as his expression registered in her mind. "I'm sure you haven't slept much lately either; I know I feel much better after the, what, three hours I was able to get in four fragments?" she joked lamely. Finn took a deep breath and tried to relax. "Finn..." Lorelai said softly.

He ran a hand through his rough dark hair. "It's nothing, Lorelai. Rory was having some night terrors a moment ago; she's fine now but I thought I should warn you, doll. It's..." his voice trailed off and he hardened his face. "It'll be pretty rough for awhile." With a slightly stilted smile, he finished, "I'm just off for some breakfast, love; I'll be back in awhile but Logan's inside."

Lorelai fought the flood of fear that rose in her when he said it would be rough. "Thanks for everything, Finn. I don't know what we'd have done without you." She rested her hand on his shoulder for a moment before collecting herself to enter Rory's room.

"Of course, doll; anything for Rory love." Finn went on his way and left the hospital.

——————————

Lorelai and Logan sat mostly in silence for about an hour, both appearing to work—Lorelai on a laptop and Logan on his BlackBerry. Logan concentrated intensely; Lorelai, however, fidgeted almost continuously and looked up anytime there was the slightest abnormal sound from anywhere.

Near the end of that hour, Rory slowly opened her eyes. She tensed slightly, steeling herself for the very possible realization that Logan had left; upon seeing him, she breathed a slow sigh and relaxed. For the most part, she was feeling a bit better than she had—the chest pain with each breath had diminished from a sharp stab to a throbbing ache, and the cramps in her abdomen seemed to have loosened. _Head's still burning though... I wish I could just _think_ a little without this searing fire in my brain... or do I? Well... maybe not..._ she confessed to herself, despondent, as she looked at her boyfriend.

Rory lay quietly for a few minutes, breathing deeply, trying to focus and figure out all the things that had happened to her. _Logan, Logan, Logan, Logan... what is going on? And—crap, why didn't I realize it—where's Finn? I hope—oh, I hope, I hope, I hope... What was that he said? Oh, yes, I remember; all that crap. He doesn't even know. How could he? He doesn't understand. He doesn't understand anything._ After a few minutes of such futile efforts, Rory sighed again.

Lorelai looked up. "Rory!" she exclaimed. Rory winced. "Sorry babe," her mother apologized in more hushed tones. Lorelai set the laptop on the floor, scooted her chair closer to the bed and stroked Rory's limp hair. "How are you, sweetie?"

"I think I'm a little better," Rory answered slowly, meeting Lorelai's eyes.

"Well, you're at least speaking in fully-formed sentences now; that's good, right? Of course, while for Yogi Berra that might be saying a lot, it's not too stupendous for you, I guess," Lorelai said, laughing a bit. Rory smiled wanly.

Logan clicked the button on the side of his BlackBerry and then came over to the bed. "Morning Ace," he said quietly, taking her hand.

"Morning," she replied, breathless. She looked up, the anxiety naked in her eyes; her heart nearly broke when she saw the glaze in his. "When did you get back?"

"You knew I was gone? I'm surprised," he said, smiling. "I've been back a couple of hours now. You were asleep when I left and asleep when I got back. Sorry you missed me for a minute there. But I'm here now," he tried to be reassuring. She held his hand tightly.

_Are you here? Really? _"I'm glad you're here. Don't let go."

"I promise." He did his best to give her an encouraging, strengthening look but even he was afraid it wasn't enough.

Rory readjusted her torso, grimacing with that pain and with the processing of the expression on his face. "Would you... maybe... read to me?" she asked, timid as a child. "I... really want to... but my head hurts so much..." her voice was weaker.

"Of course," Logan said graciously and took the book from the table. He picked up at the page Finn had marked, doing his best with the unfamiliar story by Mark Twain.

The tale went on, but Rory was having a hard time listening. There was something about Logan's voice that struck her as... _off_, somehow. He sounded almost like he was paying attention, but not quite; almost like he wanted to be reading it, but not quite; almost like he knew what he was doing, but not quite. There was a certain quality that wasn't there, and it was unfamiliar to her and it didn't fit. He seemed to be trying, but she was afraid it wouldn't be enough.

——————————

Finn sat down on a bench outside the hospital and pulled out his cell phone. Sighing and rumpling his hair, he punched a button and waited.

"Who are you and what are you bloody doing calling me at bloody eleven thirty at night?!" barked a male voice on the other end.

"Eleven thirty, mate? Funny, I thought it was eight thirty in the morning," said Finn, chuckling.

"Finn, you bastard, I just got the man at the bar to deliver a drink to the sexy doll who's been making flirtatious eyes at me all night."

Finn looked serious. "Max... come on."

The voice was suddenly solemn. "All right, mate, what's going on? No, 'old on a minute. Let me get out of here; it'll burst your eardrums in a moment. Hang on a tick." The line seemed to go dead for several seconds. "Right, then. I've made it safely outside. Now, this better be good or you owe me the quids for a night with a hooker."

"Come now, Max, have you ever known me to pull you away on an out night for a trifle?" Finn said sardonically.

"Enough with the crap, sonny. What's the problem?"

Finn sighed deeply. "I just..." He stopped. _Can I actually say this? No. Yes. No, definitely not... yes. You've got to, mate. Go at it._ "So this girl..."

"Oh good God. Here we go."

"Shut up, mate." Finn leaned his head back, spread-eagled on the bench. "This girl who's dating my mate Logan, she's a love and we're quite good friends."

"No, mate, you cannot screw your best friend's woman," Max cut in.

"Shut up. I'm not in a joking mood. So, we're good friends; we've all been looking after her while he's been away. Then a couple of nights ago... what, three nights? God, I can't even remember... we went to the pub to celebrate the beginning of senior year; we very unwisely let her walk home alone and..." He stopped again, breathing deeply. "She... God... I can't..." He was shaking. Max waited, quiet. "Some bastards pulled her into their dorm..." The brunet stopped once more.

After a pause, Max said calmly, "I'm not going to say it for you, mate. Keep on."

"Fine, you coldhearted sonofa..." Finn tried to calm his trembling body. "Theyrapedher." It finally came out in a rush. "They raped her, beat her, left her helpless and almost senseless out in the night."

Max let out a long breath. "Look, mate..."

"No, you look! This gorgeous, innocent woman—they were brutal and violent and intolerably cruel to her. And I... I let her go out there alone... and then I had to go pick her up, and take her home, and... she had to take some birth control, mate, and it made her deathly sick. And she's been lying in the hospital for a fricking geologic era... and I can't get the girls out of my mind. Max, mate, you've got to make me sane again. You're so good at it..."

"Finn, mate," Max began after a moment, "Finn, mate, all I can do for you is tell you again that it wasn't your fault. It wasn't then, and it wasn't now. That son of a bitch who attacked Carolyn and Melanie was after them anyway; there was nothing you could have done. If it hadn't been this sheila this time, it would have been someone else. There are a lot of bloody bastards in the world and you can't do much about it. You've just got to be who you are with what you've got."

"I'm afraid, sonny, who I am and what I've got are just not enough," Finn said bitterly. "This shouldn't have happened in the first place. Why the hell have I let this happen again?"

"I told you, it's not your fault. How long is it going to take for that to register in your dense brain?"

"'S not what I meant, mate. Why in the name of all that is holy, redheads and scotch included, did I let myself start caring again?" sighed the Australian.

Max gritted his teeth. "Finn, _stop_. Do not even begin to think that way. You cannot regress in that area. I _will_ tell you again how completely wrong that response is, and furthermore I _will_ personally fly to whichever Godforsaken frozen city of New England you are currently inhabiting and beat your bloody head in if you go any further with that line of thinking."

A twisted smile came to Finn's face. "All right, all right mate, I don't think that'll be necessary. It seems I can't just dismiss this woman from my life... wish I could... would be so much simpler."

"Like hell it would be," said Max bluntly. "I can't be of any further use to you if you keep talking like that. Life blows, mate, but you've got to pick up and move on. You've got to."

Finn was finally relaxing a bit. "All right, mate, all right. Fine. I've got it. I just might be able to do it now. But... _fuck_... fuck all, Max, I cannot..." He shuddered. Unexpectedly, he began to sob in huge gulps.

The other man waited for the cries to subside. "I'm here, mate. Just hold on."

It took minutes before Finn was able to talk. "I can't... Max, I can't even tell you how much... she reminded me... of Melanie, Melanie in her bloody casket..." Tears were still streaming down his swarthy cheeks.

"God, Finn..." Max could hardly speak.

"You know, she doesn't even look like her. Not blonde, not tan, not tiny... but I have never seen anything like it... You couldn't have made her look more like Mel if you'd given them both plastic surgery." He thought he could feel his heart tearing open.

"Be with her, Finn. Go be with her. Help her heal. You've got that chance now, mate. She's alive and she's going to be fine and you are going to be all right. You will never make it back if you turn away at this moment. You _have to go_ to her."

"But Logan..." Finn murmured. "That's another piece of it. He's here, but it took me buying him a plane ticket and telling him I was going to murder him if he didn't leave London and come to her. He's being an asshole and it's killing her. I want to throttle him, mate."

"There's nothing you can do about him either," Max stated. "I remind you that all you can do is be who you are with what you have."

Finn tousled his hair one more time and wiped his eyes. "All right, mate. All right. In earnest, now. I'm going to go back in there and earn my redemption."

"You don't need to redeem y'self for anything, Finn. You need to get y'self back into a normal human mode of operation."

"I get it, I get it." Finn almost laughed. "When I think of what would have become of me if Uncle Percy and Aunt Leona had gotten that little girl they expected instead of you when the adoption papers went through... Well, sweet my coz, I must take my leave of you."

"Fine, then, Rosalind; I hope you're happy now that my chances with the sexpot at the bar are completely ruined," mocked Max.

"That's assuming you had any chances in the first place, Celia," returned Finn. "Anyway, thanks mate. Thanks."

"Just my job for my cousin, mate. I'm off. Good luck."

Finn snapped his phone shut and slowly rose to head back toward the hotel.

——————————

Rory had, mercifully enough, fallen asleep again when Finn came into the hospital room. Looking at Lorelai, he said quietly, "How is she?"

"She said she was doing a little better when she was awake," the girl's mother replied. "The doctor looked in on her a little while ago and said everything looks like she's slowly starting to head toward normal again."

The Australian nodded softly. "Good. Good," he said with firm conviction. "Where's Logan?"

"He had to make a phone call and he was afraid it was going to get loud, so he went outside. I've just been sitting here, training madly for the World Thumb-Twiddling Championships."

"Ah, that highly respected event; I know it well. A second cousin of mine made it to the finals once," Finn said dryly with a smile and took a seat. "Anything else I should know?"

"Stephanie called and said she'd be here after her eleven o'clock class. Lane works the lunch shift today so she's coming after that. My parents called to check in, but—probably best for all concerned—can't make it here at the moment. Sony called to ask me if they could name a voicemail program after me, because apparently I'm incredibly thorough with phone-related news, but I said no, that would be stupid because I can't tell what to play back and what not to," Lorelai rambled. "Anyway, yeah. Nothing much."

Finn smiled. "Right, then. I'm going to... take a bit of a nap. Wake me if you need anything, or if anything happens."

"Absolutely." Lorelai smiled to herself as she watched the brunet settle back and close his eyes, then frowned as she thought of the blond who was currently AWOL. _It appears that it really does take a crisis to show who's a grownup and who's not..._ She went back to working on her computer.

——————————

"All right, fine, tomorrow morning's good. Yes, the four fifteen from JFK to Heathrow. Thanks, Chelsea. Any more notes for me?" Logan paused, listening to his secretary. "Right, right, he's pissed as hell, got it. Yes, well, he can cope. Don't let him beat on you for what I did, all right Chels? ...Right. Okay. Thanks again. I'll be by tomorrow evening to pick up some things, and then back the next day... Perfect. See you then. Oh, wait—email me the e-ticket number when you get it. Right. Cheers." He slipped his BlackBerry back into its case. Thinking of how Rory would react to his leaving, he winced; but, he reminded himself, it was necessary. Life just couldn't be the way she wanted it all the time.

With confident strides, he headed back to the hospital room, but his steps got slower and slower as he neared it.

"Who is it?!" Finn startled awake as Logan entered.

"Relax, Finn, it's just me."

"Ah ha, so the wanderer has returned. How's it going, Mr. Rabbitt? Or can I call you Eddie?" Finn said, slightly vicious.

Logan glared at him. "Shut up, man. Just shut up. You have no frickin' right to say that to me."

"Oh, we're condemning hypocrisy now, are we? I'm sorry; I must have missed the memo. Not exactly characteristic of a Hartford blueblood." His voice was fully venomed now.

"It'll never be enough for you, will it? Never enough."


	12. Never Let Anything Happen

**AN: **There's really not much to say about how crappy a job I've done here—hopefully not with the writing itself, but with the whole story-progressing thing. I'm bored and I feel like writing, but I refuse to get your hopes up with any predictions or promises. Hope you enjoy the chapter.

**AN2: **I'm upping the rating to M for language and eventually sexual stuff. Ye be warned.

**AN3: **Just to orient you a bit, a story timeline:

Rory got raped on a Monday night (the night before the first day of school). Then she was at her own dorm, then Lorelai came and took her home and they went to the doctor late Tuesday afternoon. Late Tuesday night they took her to the hospital. Late Wednesday afternoon Logan arrived. Finn called his friend Max on Thursday morning. Logan booked his flight back to London on Thursday afternoon. This chapter begins early Thursday evening.

**Disclaimer:** My ex-boyfriend wants to write comedy for TV. Does that count? No? Okay, well, I guess that means I'm not a writer or producer and I don't own the show or the CW.

* * *

"I hope you know you're an asshole as well as a moron." Stephanie sipped some sort of protein shake and Logan grimaced.

"I'm sick of having this same damn conversation. None of you can judge me until you've been in my position."

"I'd say Colin's pretty damn close and he agrees with me."

"Oh yeah? He's romantically unattached, for the time being, anyway, and he _wants_ to be a lawyer."

"Oh, so you're telling me you don't want to be in journalism? You don't want to be a reporter? You don't want to take over one of the country's biggest and strongest and best news media conglomerates? Be reasonable. I _know_ you, buddy, since you were a junior in high school I've known you, and ever since you got to be editor-in-chief of the yearbook you've wanted it more than anything, excepting of course that whole maybe-I'll-be-the-next-Pablo-Escobar thing you went through for two weeks in winter of freshman year. I'll never understand that. You didn't even like cocaine. Anyway, I know you want what your father's handing you right now. The question is whether you want it more than you want Rory. Because I guarantee that's the choice you're going to have to make."

"No! No, it's not. I'm not making choices. If something happens between me and Rory just because I have a job I have to do, then she's making the fucking choice."

Stephanie stared at him intensely. "God... you don't actually believe that, do you?" He looked back at her, his eyes stormy. The blonde shook her head slowly and said "I don't think I've ever thought less of you than I do at this moment." She turned and started walking to Rory's room.

"Steph!" Logan followed her out of the lounge where they'd been talking. "Stephanie! Vanderbilt, I swear to God!" She didn't look at him. "You know you have a fabulous ass but I'd rather look at your face at this moment," he tried a classic smirk.

She whirled. A sharp crack echoed down the sterile hallway as her palm connected with his cheek. "We're done."

"Steph! What the hell!" he said harshly. "You know me, I'm just trying to lighten up the situation. It's not that serious. I'll go back to London shortly, Rory will heal, I'll get back when I can. Hell, I'll fly her over to see me."

"No. No, you won't. None of that will happen. Please do not re-enter that room for an extended period of time. I'm fairly certain that Spock, probably even Data, would go blind with rage if they felt the way I do right now and they saw you with her—and I'm 100% human so you'd better watch it." She left him and he sat heavily in a hard chair in the hallway, rubbing his reddened cheek.

* * *

"Well, Miss Gilmore, it looks like you're doing better," said the genial doctor as he looked over her chart. "I'm very glad to see it. What are you feeling right now?"

Rory sighed. "Mostly just tired and achy. But this headache—it's like knives. Is there anything you can do?" She bit her lip. "I'm sorry, that's a horrible question, I'm sure if you could do something about it you would, that's your job, I'm sorry, I don't mean to imply that you're not doing everything you can, I'm sorry."

"Relax, Miss Gilmore, it's a perfectly acceptable request. I'll let your nurse know and we'll put you on a little Percocet while you continue to heal. We want you to be comfortable so your body stops fighting itself so hard. Moreover, I have some good news for you. You've come out of this remarkably unscathed, in a physiological sense. There's no permanent damage to any of your vital organs or your nervous, endocrine or reproductive systems. We're probably only going to have to keep you here for another couple of days and then we'll send you home to rest for awhile more and slowly return to your normal life."

Lorelai was almost crying. "Thank you. Thank you, doctor. I can't even say what this means to us. You've been truly incredible."

He smiled. "Thank you. It's been a pleasure to be your doctor, Miss Gilmore, and to work with you, Ms. Gilmore." He exited quietly.

Lorelai moved her chair close to Rory's bed and took her daughter's hand. "God, Rory..." she began, but her voice broke and she began to tremble, struggling to hold back tears. "Babe... I..."

"I know, Mom," Rory said softly. She feebly patted her mother's hand. "I know."

"No, honey, you can't possibly know, you're my child, you have no idea how much I feel that I failed you. To let all this happen to you..." she dropped her face into the crook of her arm on the bed. Her voice came out muffled. "I'm your mother, I should never have let you go anywhere alone, I should have talked to all those friends of yours long ago and told them that they are to guard you with their lives because you are so precious, baby, and I love you so much. I want you to come home with me and always be safe and never be hurt or sick again and I need you to know that I still love you and if I could do it over again I'd do everything anyone could ever think of to protect you..."

"Mom, I love you and I know it's not your fault. I was the stupid one, I should have let them walk me home..."

Lorelai looked up, locking her eyes with Rory's. "_No_. NO, Rory. No. It is _not_ your fault and you can never, _ever_ think that way. Never ever ever EVER are you allowed to think that it was REMOTELY your fault. What those boys did was absolutely wrong and you need to know that. This does not say _anything_ about your worth or your character. It was _so wrong_. As far as what's good and right and ideal, you should be able to walk around campus at four in the morning drunk off your ass and stark naked without that happening to you, if all men were decent. Just don't even let yourself go there."

Rory nodded slowly and sighed. "Well you have to accept that too, then. It's the stupid guys' fault. Agreed?"

"Pinky promise. No blaming for either of us." Solemnly Lorelai extended her finger and hooked it with her daughter's pale one.

"Ooh, what are you swearing? Never tell anyone else about your shared love of Knight Rider? Get front row tickets to Neil Diamond's opening show on his next tour, no matter where it is?" mocked Stephanie as she entered the room with coffee in both hands. "Thought you could use a little pick-me-up," she said, handing one cup to Lorelai. "I'd offer you some, sweetie, but I think the men in white coats might object," she smiled to Rory. "Anyway, how are we today?"

"We were actually just swearing not to blame anyone, except those stupid idiot assholes that I want to kill, for what happened," said Lorelai casually. "Care to join us?"

"Absolutely." Stephanie offered her pinky to each woman in turn.

"I wanted to take Rory home and put her in a bubble so nothing would ever happen to her again, but that was vetoed."

"Well," said the blonde seriously, "You can't never let anything happen to her. Then nothing would ever happen to her!"

Rory and Lorelai laughed. "Thank you, Dory," said Rory with a grin.

"I am a natural blue... blonde, I mean... right," said her friend.

"So where's..." Rory trailed off.

"The male element? Logan's on a conference call, Finn's on a quest for some decent tacos."

"Thank GOD," shouted Lorelai. "Wait, wait, here. Give me that pad of paper and a pen." Lorelai quickly began scribbling. "Hector's... then you take exit 73... I think it's a right after that..." she mumbled. "Right. You," she gave Stephanie the scrap of paper, "go call him and tell him to follow these directions to Hector's. It's not too far from here, I don't think. Tell him to get... a number four, two number sixes, a number ten and three number twelves. Plus a large Coke. And whatever you guys want, of course," she added after a pause.

"Wow, all righty then," laughed Stephanie. "Be right back. If Logan's finished I'll send him right in."

* * *

"How is she?"

"Your concern is sweet, even considering you didn't greet your caller at all. She's looking better. Not so death-like."

Finn winced. "You had to use that particular adjective, doll?"

Stephanie bit her lip. "Sorry. I wasn't thinking. Anyway, she looks all right, through they both seemed a little fragile so I didn't actually ask about the latest details. Anyway, Lorelai has instructions for you. Ready?"

"Oh, Christ," Finn groaned slightly. "This is going to be a lot of work, isn't it?"

"Seems that way. Being a good friend usually is."

"All right, love, all right. But if this is long, you're going to have to wait for me to pull over."

"Better do that. Directions to a taco place and ordering instructions."

"Give me a minute, then, pet, I've got to exit if I need to write anything down."

"Fair enough." Stephanie waited silently.

After a minute Finn said agitatedly "What, no jokes, no news? Where's your famous gift for small talk, love?"

"I'm not really in the mood. You and I have talked about as much as we need to, I'm thinking. Although to be honest, I'm mostly just pissed at Logan."

"Really? What's the bastard done now?"

Stephanie sighed. "God, Rothschild, why are you men all such idiots?"

"I've recently asked the same about you females, Vanderbilt, be fair now."

"All right, fine." Stephanie drew her breath in slowly. "Logan... is going back to London. Very early tomorrow morning."

Finn swerved violently. "I'm sorry, love, fucking _**what?!**_" he shouted into the phone when he had regained control.

"I'm just as pissed as you are, believe me. I suppose I shouldn't have told you while you're driving that tank you call a sport utility vehicle, but I'd rather that than have you breaking Logan's face in the hospital lobby. Not that he doesn't deserve it. It just wouldn't be quite the thing, you know," she said queenishly.

The Australian's knuckles were white and his breathing was labored. "Could you please repeat what you said a few seconds ago for me, doll?"

"You heard me, Finnegan."

"Don't call me that, if you value your face as much as you do Logan's. Did you say that he is going back to London tomorrow?"

"I did, in fact."

"Did he tell you this?"

"No, the cad. I overheard him finishing up a call to his secretary and... inferred the rest."

"You're a regular Mata Hari." Finn swore to himself for several seconds. "All right, pet, I'll talk to him when we get back. I have a sneaking suspicion you and I don't really need to discuss this any further, unless you've suddenly become the sort of sheila who promotes general idiocy, desertion and blindness on the part of boyfriends."

"Absolutely not."

"Good. Now, tell me about these tacos, because as much as I want to turn around right now and punch that son of a bitch's jaw right off his face, I suppose I shouldn't come back without food. Lorelai'd be quite disappointed and you can't disappoint a lovely lady like that—it wouldn't be quite the thing," he mimicked Stephanie.

"Fair enough. It's exit 73 off the interstate..."

* * *

"I'm... sorry I couldn't come earlier."

"It's okay, really. Gigi's getting bigger but I have a feeling she's not quite ready to have the house to herself for a couple of nights."

"No, Rory, I'm really, really sorry. You need to know that."

"I do, Dad." Rory looked at her father calmly. "I promise. I know you wanted to be here. But I have Mom, and Gigi only has you, so I understand." Christopher flinched slightly. "Please. You know I'm not saying you're not important to me, or that I'm not important to you." He nodded. She sighed and inhaled, her face still shadowed with pain. "But that's the reality. You have other things in your life, and I accept that. I'm an adult. We can't have that kind of all-consuming relationship anymore. But it's okay. You're here." Her father patted her hand.

"What'd I miss? Any touching moments? Should that John Mayer song be playing in the background?" Lorelai said, entering the room.

"No John Mayer, please and thank you," said Christopher.

"What, ohh, how about _Isn't she looovelyyy, maaade from loooooove_," crooned Lorelai.

"Look, we all know you two were red-hot lovers and that's what led to Rory here, but we don't need to be reminded of it," said Stephanie, shutting the door quietly with a large grin.

"Oh, God, Steph," Rory grimaced. "You really didn't have to use that phrase, did you?"

"No, but I wanted to see if you'd react. Shows you're feeling better. Anything I can do for anyone?"

"Go back to campus and go to classes, woman," admonished Rory.

"No can do. Already told my professors I'd be gone and have friends taking notes for me. I'm stuck to you until next week at _least_, like a barnacle on your hull."

"I'd rather not have either of you lovely ladies referred to by nautical similes, thanks," said Logan as he stepped up to the bed. "Sorry I was gone, Ace. You know what they say, time and tide and Huntzberger Media wait for no man."

"Isn't it midnight there or something ridiculous like that?" Stephanie said coldly.

Logan sat down on the edge of the bed and took Rory's hand. Lorelai, Christopher and Stephanie were scattered in chairs about the room. "My colleagues were at dinner with a new client and there were a few details to be hammered out after the tiramisu was eaten. How're you feeling, Ace?"

"She's doing much better, the doctor said there's no sign of significant permanent damage, though we're still waiting for a couple of test results. She should be out of here in a day or two," Lorelai said, radiant.

"So glad to hear it," Logan smiled down at the brunette whose hand he held. "I don't like seeing you in this bed." He kissed her palm and she smiled slightly at him. A silence fell over the room for a few seconds, only to be shattered by an Australian accent.

"Tacos, burritos and nachos! Chimichangas, fajitas and enchiladas! Soda, coffee, water, churros, chocolate, we've got it all, folks, step right up!" Finn burst in with overflowing bags of fast food. "Dig in, everyone. This stuff is not getting any better the longer it sits around." He set the food down on the small table that sat in the corner of the room. "Bloody hell, it's crowded in here. What say we let the Lorelais and Hayden have the room to themselves for a bit, eh? I hope you're feeling better, kitten," he directed toward Rory, lowering his voice. "I want to hear your status, but we'll chat once everyone's filled their stomachs comfortably, sound fair, love?" She nodded.

He grabbed a selection of food and herded the blonds out of the room with him. "We need to have a chat ourselves, mate," he said to Logan.


	13. Defining Limits

**AN:** So I felt a little bad 'cause the last chapter didn't progress the story all that much, and I have some time on my hands and I seem to be on a roll here. So... yes. If anyone is still reading this story, consider this a bit of a gift. And make sure you read the last chapter first.

**AN2: **In this universe, Luke and Lorelai broke up when she gave him the ultimatum, but Lorelai did not sleep with Chris. It was/is just a long awkward sad process of trying to get over it and move on. It's not super-important to the story, but just in case you were wondering, that's the story in my head.

**AN3:** I don't know why I'm taking such pleasure in making Logan such a coldhearted selfish bastard, but apparently I am. Sorry, Logan fans... I actually quite like him on the show...

* * *

"Finn—"

"I'm eating, Logan," said the brunet and took a bite of a fat burrito.

"Yes, please, let's get something in our stomachs first," said Stephanie, grabbing a greasy bag and digging into it, pulling out a taco.

"Fine." Logan fastidiously spread a napkin over his lap and started in on a chicken enchilada.

After several minutes in which the only sound was the crunching of taco shells and the slurping of soft drinks, Finn balled up his napkins and wrappers and threw them into the trash can in the corner of the room. "Now, what was it you were going to say to me, mate?" His eyes glinted.

"Look, I know you're angry at me, but I have to go back. I have to do what my family needs me to do. I know you think I can wave some sort of magic wand and make it so I don't have to do anything in my life, but I do not have that luxury. I'm working my ass off, and things are getting better, but they will only continue to improve for me if I stick with what I'm doing. I'll call Rory all the time, Lorelai will help her recover, I can fly Ace to me if she can't stand being here without me. It'll work out. I just have to do this."

"We've been over this before, Logan." Finn ran a tan hand through his hair. "I believe I've been quite clear. I'm beyond pissed at you, at this point; I really can't say anything more to you about how angry I am and what a bloody arse you're being. Oh look, I did say that, I'll say it again: you're being a bloody arse."

"I got that," said Logan, jaw clenched.

"Look, Logan," interjected Stephanie, "We just—"

"No, pet, I'll take this one if you don't mind. The last thing I have to say to you on this subject is that if you leave here tomorrow morning, you will lose Rory permanently, and you will regret it, and there will be nothing you can do about it. I just don't want to have it on my conscience that one of my best mates had his head so far up his rear that he lost his girl and I didn't try to pull it out for him. I've got enough on my conscience as it is." He sighed. "Now I've told you—you will lose her, completely and irrevocably, and you won't have anyone to blame but yourself. That's all I have to say."

"I just don't see where you get off telling me how my girlfriend is going to act!" Logan nearly shouted.

"Huntz, you don't have to yell, we're in a hospital and there are probably sick people trying to sleep," Stephanie admonished. "Though I'd like to yell and also give you a good loud smack at this moment, I'm going to refrain—"

"Oh, how kind of you, except wait, you _did_ already smack me today!" said Logan bitterly.

"And you deserved it just as much then as you do now. But the point is, if you think you can get away with this, you clearly don't know Rory, and you clearly don't deserve her," the girl's blue eyes were cold.

"Fuck you both. I don't see where you get this idea you can tell me what to do or how my relationship is supposed to work." Logan was pacing the sitting area now. "Rory is strong and she has great friends and family here, she can recover without me."

"Look, idiot," Stephanie began, "it's not like we think Rory's going to wither away and die without the support of her perfect faithful steadfast boyfriend," she rolled her eyes. "Obviously she can get through this. But if you think that now, when she's already been missing you because you've been in London, and when she's traumatized and needs all the security and comfort and normalcy she can get, that she'll forgive you if you skip out on her... then you've got another think coming."

"Well," a nerve in Logan's temple jumped, "I love her and I want to be with her, but my life right now just doesn't have any breathing room in it."

"Your loss then." Finn and Stephanie walked back toward Rory's room.

* * *

Lane returned. The elder Gilmores came for a visit. Colin and Paris each stopped in briefly. It was a busy night and by nine o'clock Rory was fighting to stay awake.

"All right everybody, I'm sure our lovely patient is glad to have had you all here, but it's time for her to get some rest," announced Lorelai.

"Would you like to come home with us, Lorelai?" asked Emily. "Christopher, do you have a place to stay?"

"Well, I was going to book a hotel room," began Christopher.

"Nonsense, you'll both come with us," Richard said brusquely. "Logan, I assume you're fine?"

"Yes sir, I promised I'd go home and have a drink with my father tonight, thank you anyway."

"All right then," said Emily, "we'll be on our way." She gently leaned down and kissed Rory's cheek. "Good night dear, I'm glad you're doing better. Please have the hospital call us if there's anything you need."

"Good night kiddo, I love you and I'll see you tomorrow. As soon as they let me I'm going to bring you the world's most giant mocha, sound good?" smiled Christopher.

"I think the World's Most Giant Doctor would probably say it's going to be a very long time before this young lady should drink any coffee," said a nurse, poking her head in the door. "I'd agree with him, and I'd say furthermore that it's time for visitors to head home."

"A medical professional who knows her hospital shows, gotta love that," grinned Lorelai. "Sleep well babe, I love you more than Jerry Garcia loved acid."

"Lorelai, do you really think that's appropriate?" Emily frowned. Rory laughed and Lorelai squeezed her hand. "All right, fine, let's go." She gathered her coat and herded her husband out the door, Lorelai and Christopher following.

"I should head home too, I've got a crabby husband texting me," sighed Lane. "He says hi though, and that he's sorry and he hopes you get better soon and if you need anyone's ass kicked he'll help."

"That's very sweet of him," said Rory. "I think I'm good though."

"Yeah, I figured. But anyway, I'll be back whenever I can make it tomorrow, okay? I love you Rory... I mean, Jerry Garcia _really_ loved acid, that's a pretty bold statement for Lorelai to make, but I think I can safely say that I love you more than Keith Richards loves coke," joked Lane.

"All right, get out of here, who needs you anyway?" Rory rolled her eyes and smiled. "'Night Lane, drive safe."

"We'll be off as well then, kitten." Finn squeezed Rory's shoulder gently. "You know where to find us."

"'Night Reporter Girl. It's good to see you going back to normal. You had us worried for awhile there," smiled Stephanie. "See you tomorrow."

"You don't have to come back, I promise I'll be fine. Finn must be dying for a good bender and a redhead this weekend," Rory said.

"Oh, believe me pet, I'll be back." Finn shot Logan a venomous look over Rory's head and the blond glared back. Stephanie pulled Finn out by his arm and waved to Rory.

* * *

"Do what you want, I'm not leaving." Finn sat in a chair in the sitting area with crossed arms. "There'll be hell to pay when he books it out of here and we can't leave Rory alone."

"Then tell Lorelai to come back, won't you, Finn?" Stephanie pleaded, standing over him.

"Absolutely not. Bugger off, Vanderbilt."

"There's something wrong with you."

"How can _you_ want to leave her here with that son of a bitch?"

"I _don't! _But I feel I probably am not the person she's going to want to see—a close friend of Logan's, associated with everything about him and the whole life she made with him... she's going to want her mother and her grandparents and Lane. We are all about her life with Logan, her college life, and this on top of everything else is not exactly going to make her click her ruby-slippered heels and say there's no place like Yale."

"I'm not leaving."

"I hope you don't think that this mulishness is going to make me stay with you. You're an idiot."

He looked at her, cocking his brown head to the side as he studied her face with a small smile. "Weren't you the one chewing me out for pretending not to care just a little while ago? I should think you'd be pleased to see me standing by the person I care about."

"Sure, care about her, be there for her, but not right in her face when he leaves. Tell Lorelai to come back," Stephanie huffed.

"Nope." He settled further into his chair.

"Fine. I'll see you here in the morning."

* * *

Logan situated himself on the edge of the bed, taking Rory's hand in his. "Ace..."

"Thank you for being here, Logan," she said quietly, leaning her head on his arm.

"Of course, Rory. Of course." They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"I guess you have to go drink a scotch on the rocks with your dad, though," she sighed eventually.

"He takes whiskey, neat, actually," Logan showed a small smile. "But no, Ace, I'm going to stay here for awhile, but I have some bad news." Rory stiffened. His gut churned but he forged ahead. "Rory... the office is outrageously busy right now and we've just started relationships with several new online advertising clients, so it's... it's a big moment for me and my father says I really have to be there for the personal element. So I have to leave soon."

Several seconds ticked past. Logan desperately wished she would say something.

Finally she said weakly "Soon?"

He winced. "Yeah, Ace. My flight's at 4:15 this morning."

"That's..." Rory blinked. "That's less than seven hours from now," she said flatly.

"I know, Ace. I don't want to leave..." he trailed off. She didn't look at him. "It's just... well, you know my father, and I've been working really hard on these deals and he's not going to let me stop now... I really, really wish I could stay."

Her eyes were huge and dark as she stared at the wall ahead of her. He thought he could see the outline of every fine bone and tensed muscle through her skin, whiter than he'd imagined possible.

"Please understand, baby," he pleaded. "I love you so much, and I wish I could keep you safe, but the only way for me to ever be able to come back to you for good is to work hard now and make my father happy so that I have a little leeway in the future. I'll call you all the time, and I'll make sure you're perfectly taken care of at the apartment, and I'll fly you over to see me in a few weeks when you're up for the trip, I promise. We can make this work, just like we have been."

She turned to him sharply, and he could see her pulse fluttering through the translucent skin of her throat. Her lovely blue eyes were like black ice as she stared at him, deep frozen pools in her snowy face. Her breath rattled in her chest and she slipped her hand out of his. "Just like we have been?" her voice cracked.

"I'll call you even more. You'll hardly even miss me."

"I don't know if you've noticed, Logan," she ground out, "but I'm not really in the mood to hold a cell phone to my ear and furthermore it would supposedly cause these machines to cease functioning and they're slightly important to me right now. Moreover..." she inhaled sharply "_just like we have been? Just like we fucking have been, Logan?!_ How can you sit there and act like everything is just like it was a week ago? How can you say that to my face as if my life hasn't just been completely changed forever? How can you be so callous?" He thought she'd be crying at this point and she had expected it too but her eyes were dry. Just frozen.

"Rory, I—"

"NO! Don't you even care what happened to me? I was raped, Logan! I'm your girlfriend, you said you loved me, _I was raped!_" Her voice now had a distinct hysterical note. "This is all bullshit. This is fucking bullshit, Logan. If you can't be here for me now then you don't deserve to be with me. You didn't answer when I called, you took your sweet time hauling your ass here, you've hardly even been in this room, now you're going to leave?" Rory's cheeks had flushed to brilliant red, sunset fire on the snow. "Then leave. Get the hell out of here. I can't stand to look at you. I should have known years ago that you'd never be able to stand by me if anything ever threatened your precious privilege. Go back to London. Go back to your father," she spat out the words.

"Rory, no! I love you! I'm only leaving because I have to! I want to be with you! You can't do this to me!" His voice shook.

"Well I don't see any big burly hitmen dragging you out of this room right now, and as far as I know no one has actually achieved psychic mind control, so I'd say no, you're choosing this. If you wanted to be with me you'd stay."

He saw himself reflected in the black ice and paused.

"If you leave this room to go to London, there is no coming back. There is no arguing. There is nothing you could say that would fix that."

"Ace, listen, relationships have obstacles! That's what my life and my future and my father have always been, an obstacle, something we have to work through. We can do this."

"No, Logan." She shook her head just slightly. The veins in her temple throbbed rapidly. "Me not wanting to be a no-strings kind of girl was something we worked through. Me taking a semester off was something we worked through. You miscommunicating about whether we were broken up and sleeping with Honor's bridesmaids was something we worked through. You going to London in the first place was something we worked through. But there are limits. I love you, Logan, I do, and if you stay with me now we can be so happy. I want you to. I desperately want to stay with you because I love you. But there is only so much my heart can take. Please don't leave, Logan. Please step up and take this."

"Rory, you can't ask this of me..." He was nearly in tears. "The pressure... you don't know..."

"You have the courage to look at me and tell me I can't understand the magnitude of your suffering?" She almost laughed, cried, fell apart. "Get out. Leave. I see what you're really thinking. You're a selfish little bastard and you can't really conceive of giving up anything that actually matters for someone you love. Get the fuck out. I never want to see you or speak to you again." The black ice was cracking. Her gaze pierced him. He stood up uncertainly, his expression pleading.

"Ace..."

"GET OUT," she shrieked. In a rush she launched herself out of the bed and slapped him with the slight strength left in her wasted arm.

"Rory, no!" he cried out as she toppled, the needle pulling out of her arm and the IV pole falling on top of her. Several monitors beeped at once. Her head hit the tile floor with a sharp crack. Her frail body sprawled at angles on the tiles. Pools of black ice stared up at him, registering nothing.

Tears streaming down his face, he ran out shouting for a doctor. As soon as he saw that someone was headed toward the room he turned to face the exit.

"What just happened?" said a furious Australian voice.

"She fell." Logan could hardly speak.

"You're leaving then." The voice was fire.

"Yes."

"You cowardly little c**t."

Logan turned away and walked out.

* * *

"Lorelai, get here right away."

"What happened?" she said, instantly alert.

"I can't..." his fury left him breathing in short gasps "talk about it now. Just come."

Fifteen minutes later Lorelai entered the room to see a nurse preparing an injection, a doctor peering at Rory's pupils and Finn, face buried in the bed at Rory's feet, hands fisted in the blankets, trembling.

* * *

**AN: **And the tragedy continues... read and review please! I love it when lurkers leave even just one short review! And it'll get better, I promise. There will be light at the end of this long dark painful horrid tunnel.


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